tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37745437333107632442024-02-19T04:28:19.601-08:00Dangling conversationsA dummies guide to getting into my good books,movies,music and the jazz...Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.comBlogger244125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-30499858647717836392019-02-13T00:30:00.002-08:002019-02-13T00:30:21.189-08:00A Lady in Black Heels (a revision in rhyme)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
A lady in black heels,<br />In a black gown to match<br />And a soft fragrant white hat<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><br />Undeniably a great catch</span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Gracefully following my lead<br />Her footprints etched for good<br />Leaving an impression everywhere<br />We went, proudly she stood</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
But our affections disappear<br />Much like her footprints do<br />Because I’m not satisfied,<br />And she knew it too</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
She starts seeming less sharp<br />We try again, fail again<br />Then we turn the page<br />Again, the endless chain.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Same route, different paths<br />Perhaps. Then she starts to age<br />Real fast, she shrinks with time,<br />But I grow, out of this cage</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
I grow up as a writer, and away<br />from my pencil, my loyal love<br />The lady in black heels! Feeble,<br />and greatly shrunk, a dying dove</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Unable to match my lead, she was<br />A pale shadow of days gone,<br />Faithful she was, till the very end<br />But me? No! I had to move on!</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
To another lady in black heels<br />In a gown that shines bright<br />The one that died is just a martyr<br />Of a love story I continue to write.</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
.</div>
</div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-69369225692165563912016-01-20T21:07:00.000-08:002016-01-20T21:07:01.432-08:00A Lady in Black Heels<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">A lady in black heels,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">In a black gown to match</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">And a soft fragrant white hat</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Gracefully following my lead</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Her footprints etched for good</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Leaving an impression wherever we went</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">But our affections start to disappear</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Much like her footprints do </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">When I’m not satisfied</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">I never am when she</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Starts seeming less sharp</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">We try again </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">We fail again</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">We turn the page</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Again</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Same route </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Different paths </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Perhaps.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">But she starts to age, real fast </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">As she shrinks with time, I grow </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Up as a writer, and away from my pencil,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Now feeble and shrunk, </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Unable to match my lead</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">A pale shadow of the lady in black heels!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">She remained faithful till the very end</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">But me? I move on</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">To yet another lady in black heels.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">A love story that continues to be written.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-90763014053280168882014-08-26T06:28:00.000-07:002014-08-26T06:28:14.856-07:00Stopping by words of copy on a Sunday Evening<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;"> Thankfully for the world, Robert Frost was a poet who won as many as four Pulitzer Prizes for turning his observations of rustic life into complex philosophy through poetry. But I wonder what was to become of his poetry if he was stuck in this time, and forced to make a living as a copywriter, and turn his observations from a plethora of reference material like Award journals, newspapers, TV, internet, FB etc. into a simple sales pitch through words. My guess is he may have ended up writing something like this:</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">Whose words these are I think I know</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">His campaigns are from across the sea though;</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">He will never see me stopping here</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">To read his copy from an old One Show</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">The security here must think it queer,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">To read something from the yesteryear,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">In between deadlines on a Sunday night,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">Surely the darkest night of the year.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">He gives my shoulder a gentle tap,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">Wondering if I was having a nap,</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">Because the only other sound is of the AC</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">As I was lost in the tome on my lap.</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">The words in there are lovely, dark and deep,
</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">But I have too many deadlines to
keep, </span></i></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: -12.0pt;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">And many lines to go before I
sleep, </span></i></div>
<i>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">And many lines to go before I sleep.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-34878477500150776092014-06-29T09:05:00.005-07:002014-06-29T09:06:19.863-07:00Do You Wanna Get Rocked?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've reached that stage in my life when I try and act like I know nothing about contemporary music and that I would have none of it. Why, I surprised myself the other day when I caught myself saying, " I don't understand how people subject themselves to so much of shit in the name of music." <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu_1_LxCSIsbrVDVy1RdfGNCWIkp9rDYAEr4zZ5BYoTWUSlg6C1KHS8e451aD1UO0sbWsyOTo0_YQOJvZdm-NtSxXCnY36bQqULrRMy9fbFaPh8FhrRqUnZx91u5j857EpdJDkegA5m6c7/s1600/BeatlesHeader-610x250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu_1_LxCSIsbrVDVy1RdfGNCWIkp9rDYAEr4zZ5BYoTWUSlg6C1KHS8e451aD1UO0sbWsyOTo0_YQOJvZdm-NtSxXCnY36bQqULrRMy9fbFaPh8FhrRqUnZx91u5j857EpdJDkegA5m6c7/s1600/BeatlesHeader-610x250.jpg" height="131" width="320" /></a>That however doesn't stop me from forgetting the songs and bands I once loved. Have you ever experienced that strange feeling when you seem to remember the lyrics by heart but cant for the life of you remember the the blasted name of the band or artist who sang it?<br />
<br />
I guess its because you never choose the songs or bands you love. They choose you, depending on the state of your life when you first listen to them. Before I totally forget the bands that I once claimed to have loved, I thought it's best to make this list, and save for its preposterity. So here's what I was doing when I first heard these bands, before it was love at first sound byte:<br />
<br />
Metallica: Loved them because it was cool to do so as a freshman.<br />
<br />
Rolling Stones: Learned to love them because Metallica was only meant for freshmen.<br />
<br />
The Who: If a band got a mention in Fundamentals of Physics by Resnik & Halliday, they had to be cool right?<br />
<br />
Iron Maiden: I loved this one simply because they had an album named after a book which I'd later go on to read.<br />
<br />
The Doors: Well, I just loved the band even before I heard a song they played, simply because they named themselves after a literary work I'd never go on to read. <br />
<br />
Bob Dylan: I loved this man because his songs actually qualified for literary work, listening to which would save me the effort of reading anything.<br />
<br />
Deep Purple: Loved them because they composed the song that was used in the Philips Powerhouse commercial<br />
<br />
Led Zeppelin: Loved them because they wrote songs about Lord of The Rings, which was a super cool movie way back in 2002.<br />
<br />
Jimi Hendrix: Loved him because he gave me enough to air guitar my way through second year.<br />
<br />
The Kinks: More Air Guitar. My performance of "You really got me going" would have got an encore in any air guitaring concert.<br />
<br />
Simon & Garfunkel: Loved this band, more so after it gave me a name for this blog.<br />
<br />
Beatles: Loved the band, simply because for the first time, I couldn't justify my love for their music. And thankfully, never needed to.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-50244212964706703542014-06-15T02:41:00.000-07:002014-06-15T02:41:05.185-07:00Trained For Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
9 am. Time for morning work-out. Speed walk to station. Oh no! Will miss the 9.20. Hail a cab. Minimum fare only. Taxi traffic outside station. Human traffic on the over-bridge. Missed it again. Drat! Here comes 9.25. Andar chalo, boss! Why crowd at the entrance?<br />
<br />
Oh my god! Death by armpits. The burial for every fragrance known to man! Davidhoff Cool Water will develop cold feet. Axe effect will face the axe. Ittar wearer will realise a train is not a bed of roses. Here the sweet smell of success is the one you experience when you can stick your head out like a mutt. Should have stood at the entrance only!<br />
<br />
Arre hello, Prannath Bhai! You'll live a hundred years. We were just going to play a new round of teen patti. Here, here. Your cards. 100 bucks please! Come, come. Give the man his khakra! What's wrong with your eyes, Gokhale Saab. Watching match till late night or what?? I dont underastand why young man like yourself should watch football? Anyway, no hope for us, no? Oh, what? There was Hockey world cup also? Oh ho! Put money on Australia, I say. They usually win. Please move a little inside no? Here, here. You can also sit? "Agla Station, Matunga Road!"<br />
<br />
Abbey Oye! Yeh First Class hai! Chal Nikal! Side please! Dadar? No? So move no? Please wear bag in the front. Please get off and then get back inside? Travelling the train for the first time or what? So what if you have first class pass. I also have. Now will you just move. Dum hai toh get off the train and get on to the platform. I'll show you! Yea yea! I also dont have time to waste with people like you. You think you have the most important job in the world. You dont know who I am. Arre Dadar's come. I'll settle scores with you later. Excuse me, uncle. Dont know why I need to start my day like this.<br />
<br />
Are you done reading? Oh why dont you hand me the business page. And the editorial to chacha. Dont worry. We will return it to you whenever you get off. We are getting off at Churchgate only. It's been so hot. I hope it doesn't flood this year. Ha ha ha ha! Who am I fooling. Dont know how Mumbai runs? Authorities seem to be doing nothing. They say we are a global city, but look at the state of our local train. You should actually change trains at Bandra. Shift to a fast train, and get off at Bombay Central. Then catch a slow train in the opposite direction. Arre, its easy. You'll get used to it. Wait, Wait. Lots of people get off at Elphinstone road. Get ready to grab a seat.<br />
<br />
Hello! Sir! I'm sorry, I am still inside a train. I'm almost there. Let me call you in 5-10 mins. There's poor signal here. What? Oh no. I had called Sriram last evening, and he told me he'll have the report mailed to you the first thing in the morning. No no no. He should be there already! What? My god! Let me call that fellow! I dont know why these people cant plan their lives better. Dont worry. I should reach in another 15 minutes. What to do, walking takes time, no? Oh yes! Thank you! Whew! Hello, Sriram! Where the hell are you? What? Late again? Couldn't you have taken an earlier Train? Now dont give excuses. Just wait for me at the Lower Parel Station. We'll figure something.<br />
<br />
9.45. Shucks! I have to stop hitting the snooze button in the morning. Side please!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-373121889592461902014-04-20T12:35:00.000-07:002014-04-20T12:43:05.895-07:00So You Think You Are Funny?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #141412; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18pt;">As a teenager, I spent a few years trying to crack an original
joke. And spent many more years waiting to unleash it at a crowd when they
least expect it. Just so I time it well. And be hailed as a king of spontaneous
wit. Because for some strange reason, this funny voice that seems to emerge
from my hypothalamus always told me that it’s going to make me popular. So
armed with a few puns, I started writing jokes. I now realise it’s not the same
as being funny, but humour me for a few more lines, won’t you?</span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">After writing a few jokes, it occurred to me that it would take
me a lifetime before I found an opportune moment to say something like, “<i>KFC is a truly democratic organisation.
Whether it’s the left wing or the right wing, both can be bought at the same
price.</i>” What was I thinking? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Probably I thought I’d earned the right to be funny. Taking a
cue from all those countless Bollywood movies of the 90s, where one would see
35-year-old heroes literally dancing around college, I learnt that if you weren’t
hero enough to say “<i>Meri Pant Bhi Sexy</i>”,
your best shot at getting some glory as a side-kick would be if you were witty
enough to say, “<i>Draupadi teri akele ki
nahi hai … hum sab shareholder hain</i>”. So I went about trying to write
something funny every day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">To say I stayed committed would be an understatement. It’s
almost like saying the IPL ads are irritating, when you actually mean to say
that they are like mosquitoes breeding on Columbia’s most valuable chemicals.
So on I wrote, one joke at a time. And what drove me to do this every day? Just
a few laughs actually. <i>“When I tell
people I want to kick off a career in comedy, they laugh.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">But the more I tried to say something funny, the more I ended up
laughing at myself. Here’s a sample, <i>“I’m
so lazy that even in my dreams, I find myself sleeping.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">I’d begun this earnest exercise four years back. I am still very
far away from calling myself a funny guy. But at least, in four years I’d like
to believe I spent more time trying to make sense than Rahul Gandhi has all his
life. “<i>What’s common to Congress and the
pizza from the neighbourhood bakery? Both have a rotten crust with some Italian
topping. </i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">I’ll probably never know what it is to be a full-time comic. But
thanks to this silly exercise I subjected myself to, I can make a safe guess. “<i>As a kid, I thought becoming a humour writer
would help me laugh all the way to the bank. Today, the only one who seems to be
laughing is my banker.” <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">So after attempting to write 1407 jokes over the last four
years, I’ve come to realise there are just two ways to look at all the troubles
in life. I could choose to call them nightmares and lose my sleep over them. Or
call them bad jokes and laugh it off. I think I’ll do the latter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: 18.0pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #141412; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">If it will bring me nothing else, it will at least help me think
up of stuff like this – <i>“The problem with
being labelled a funny guy is the women stop taking you seriously.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-30399019883768194342014-03-10T05:51:00.002-07:002014-03-10T23:17:07.373-07:00All Groan Up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">As a child, I imagined my adult life to be very
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">I thought I’d be a dashing man in dapper suits, a
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in GQness, the paradigm of Playboyness…you get the drift. I imagined I’d grace
presidential suites in bespoken suits, hobnob with heads of state in stately
halls, and shuttle between these routine rituals in a jaunty Jaguar. So
basically, I imagined I’d Pierce Brosnan my way through adult life. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">Today, the only time I’m dashing is when I try to
push through over-crowded overbridges in Bombay. The only time I could carry off the
aforementioned adjectives confidently is when I have a magazine of those very
names. And the fastest transport I’ve taken is the Kasara Fast from Dadar to
Kurla.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">So here I am. The grown up I’ve always dreamed of
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">But when I think about it, it’s not as different as
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">As a kid I wondered if work would involve myself
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">I imagined going very far in the career of my
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
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bank. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">I imagined committing myself to a creative hobby
every day. Now I’m happy if I manage to write a half-decent FB status message
every other day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">I imagined carrying a techie gadget that helped me
prioritise all my assignments for the month. I now maintain an excel sheet on
my laptop that reminds me when to pay off my rents, electricity bills, mobile
bills and renew my train pass.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">I imagined wining and dining all over the city all
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">So is there a lesson in here? Most certainly. For
young readers who may stumble upon this piece, be careful what you wish for.
Because your destiny is written by someone with a wicked sense of humour. Beware!</span></div>
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Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-43084797310916158912014-02-25T08:26:00.000-08:002014-02-25T08:27:02.656-08:00The Secret Life of Walkesh Mitter, Copywriter.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“And the Terbium
Metal Award for outstanding services to the Advertising Industry goes to…”, said
Mark Avignon, the last recipient of the honour at the Salzburg International
Advertising Awards. For a second, there was complete silence in the 5000-seat
Baroque styled Amphitheatre which stood proudly in the world heritage site that
was Salzburg. With the silhouette of the Alpine backdrop in sharp contrast to the
bright lights of the festival, there couldn’t have been a better venue for such
a prestigious award. There was tension in the air, but there was only one man
in the crowd who sat with a quiet confidence. In fact, he knew he’d be taking home
the award this year the minute he was left out of the jury for the honorary position
he’d served since the inception of the Terbium Awards five years back. “The man’s
going to win.”, said Jiju Joseph, a senior Indian creative. “And at 29, he’ll
be the youngest Terbium winner by a distance”, the veteran declared. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“HAVE YOU
LOST YOUR MIND?” shouted Akash Mehta, a 36-year old Creative Director at
AHV Advertising. “Walkesh, you were expected to be at the client’s place now, presenting
your campaign. But here you cluelessly sit, without a care in the world. Now we
have been given one more chance. And I cannot have you Screw it up again. So
get of your fuckin’ arse and GET WORKING!” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“Huh!”, said
Walkesh. He turned to see Akash breathing down his neck over a deadline that
was safely missed. Just like several others that happen every other day. “Well…err…there’s
an idea that's brewing in my head…”, he whimpered. “YES! I can see how keen
you are on seeing the job completed. Can you at least name the project that we
are currently discussing? Which has already reached a critical state?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">Walkesh
looks helplessly at Somdev - his art partner - hoping to find a clue. But like
a student who is desperately guessing to achive a pass mark in his viva voce, the
dreamy copywriter mentally scans through his joblist. “I know, I know. It’s
regarding the Ebony Shampoo press ad right? I’m working on the headline.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">Akash and
Somdev nearly suffer a haemorrhage each on hearing Walkesh’s response. “He was
referring to the New Generation School pitch.” said Som, trying to gain a rare
brownie point with Akash. “And thank you for reminding us of how late you were
on the Ebony Shampoo ad”, clarifies Akash, who was forced to wrap up that blasted
press ad the week before when the client threatened to part ways with his agency unless he stepped in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Please join me in welcoming the Creative
Tycoon, Walkesh Mitter”, said the pretty emcee, as several young students
jumped from their seats to get a closer view of the man who revolutionised the
communication industry with his radical concepts in Integrated Marketing and
Communications. The applause was deafening. And it only stopped when Walkesh
raised his hand deftly, like a virtuoso conductor. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“Well, I
thank you all for the kindness that you have showered on me. But in all
honesty, I don’t think very greatly of my work.” Murmurs in the crowd, some
appreciative of the man’s modesty, others critical of his false-modesty. “You
see, I have spent considerable time to further develop those ideas that have
given me all the fame and honour. And those very ideas that have brought me to
this stage, will be rendered void when I unveil my new set of ideas.” The murmurs
grow louder. But Walkesh raises his hands once more. “That, ladies and gentleman,
is one of the best learnings I’ve received in the fortunate career I’ve enjoyed.
You have to be the best judge of your own work, and irrespective of what the
world thinks of your work, you have to find ways of constantly elevating your
own work to a higher standard. Even if its original form brings you all the
laurels you’ve dreamed of. That, in my opinion, is the essence of a creative
career, and more importantly, a creative life.” Another deafening applause
follows. Once more, Walkesh raises his hand characteristically.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“ Yes,
Mr. Mitter. You seem to be a little too keen on offering your views on the recruitment
scene in the Banking industry during the economic slowdown?” said Amit Joshi,
who headed the HR of Global Bank of India. Walkesh looks at all the amused
faces of the client, Akash and Som around him, much like a man who suddenly
fell into the room when the roof gave away. “ Well…Sir, I was just hoping you’d
help us summarise the problem we were discussing…” A few frustrated heaves follow.
Walkesh’s colleagues seem a little concerned with his request. Joshi on the
other hand is adamant. “So Mitter, which part of our hour-long discussion didn’t
you follow?” In what was perhaps the greatest act of collective Harakiri in the
corporate world, Akash jumps to the rescue. “Amit! Let me reiterate. As the
agency, it is your belief that our creative team should have been a little more
specific with the last recruitment ad for the Managing Director of GBI.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">The
half balding client nearly pulled apart his modest mane on hearing a half-baked
justification from the Creative Director. Mockingly making air quotes, Amit
retorts, “I think calling it a little more specific is putting it a little too
mildly. How do you explain a recruitment ad for a Managing Director without ever
mentioning the words “Managing Director” even a single time in the ad? And
whats worse, your great writer has the nerve to ask me to summarise this for
him!! Are we wasting our marketing budget on retards like Mr Mitter here? Mr. Mehta, I'll refuse to pay for this ad. And I demand a fresh ad immediately.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">After
being shown the door after much agony, the Creative Director finally exhausts
his emotional reserves and gives Walkesh a whack on his head. “This is the last
time I’ll ever try to defend you. I thought I saw your worst this morning, but
your incompetence can take you far lower than I can ever imagine. Here, let me pat
your back once more,” said Akash sarcastically, before taking out his anger on
Walkesh’s back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“They have
no idea about my abilities”, thought Walkesh as he returned to office. “I’ll
make them regret their words when they finally see what conspires in the great
mind of Walkesh Mitter. Now what was this great brief about?" said Mitter,
more as a reminder to himself than anything else.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“Rarely,
have we the luxury of recognising the efforts of a man so overqualified to be
awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Let us take a moment to remember the great
contributions of Walkesh Mitter. Communications pioneer. Writer par excellence.
And a fine human being.” Said a septuagenarian in a dour tone, as a one minute
biopic highlighted the accomplishments of Walkesh Mitter. As the film comes to
an end, the audience start clapping respectively and give a white-haired Walkesh
a standing ovation. As he receives the trophy, Walkesh patiently waits for the
audience to stop clapping before he begins, “It has been my belief that Man can
achieve a great many things if he is only given his right to dream. And I have
only committed myself to fight for this cause. Because nothing in god’s world
should stop a man from his right to dream?” He then lifts his prize aloft as the
audience start applauding. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-IN;">“DAY
DREAMING AGAIN, YOU IDIOT?” Shouts Akash, as Walkesh drops the pen he was
holding high up in the air. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-4260115464483741702013-11-24T04:28:00.003-08:002013-11-24T04:34:45.671-08:00The Liebster Award For Me?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Okay, it's just a nomination. And if you wondering why I'm making such a "Horn OK Please" about it is because the one who nominated me was a travel blogger. That's right. Her virtual journey brought her to my blog, she liked what she saw and then nominated me.Yes me, a motion sickness victim whose most interesting travel discovery in recent times has been a short cut to the Sion station from the house at Chunabhatti. Hard to believe, isn't it? Thank you,<a href="http://aborrowedbackpack.wordpress.com/author/aborrowedbackpack/" target="_blank"> Miss Divya Rai</a>. You've given me a reason to believe in myself. To be nominated for a writing prize is something new to me. To be honest, the last time I was even considered for a writing award was when I won the first prize at a caption writing contest at an event at Aptech Computers when I was in Standard 4. Thank you for giving me a reason to return to this blog once more. :)<br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-US"><b>So, what’s a Liebster Award?</b><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US">The Liebster Blog Award is given to upcoming/new bloggers
or who have less than 200 followers. The ‘Liebster’ word is of German origin
and means sweetest/ kindest/ nicest/ dearest/ beloved/ lovely/ kind/ pleasant/
valued/ cute/ endearing/ welcome…<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><b><br /></b></span>
<b><span lang="EN-US">How does it work?</span> </b><br />
<br />
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li>Link back to the persons blog who has nominated you and
convey thanks for giving the award.</li>
<li>Answer all questions posted by the nominator.</li>
<li>Nominate 10 more bloggers whom you feel are deserving of
more subscribers; you pass the award on to them.</li>
<li>Create 10 questions for the nominees.</li>
<li>Contact the nominees and let them know that they have been
nominated for the Liebster Award.</li>
</ol>
The questions I have to answer:<br />
<br />
1) One blogpost, which is not from your blog and you think that everyone MUST read it. (Link)<br />
It has to be something by the great Malayali legend, Sidin 'Sunny' Vadukut, who is to Malayali bloggers, what Bob Marley is to Rastafarians. Sample<a href="http://www.espncricinfo.com/blogs/content/story/635072.html" target="_blank"> this</a>.<br />
<br />
2) Ink-pen, or ball-point pen?<br />
Neither. Nothing has contributed more to my writing than MS Word. Thanks to computers, at least I'm no longer forced to decipher my own handwriting.<br />
<br />
3) Have you ever taken a solo holiday?<br />
Yes. I do that often enough. When when I'm in company while on a journey, I'm usually lost in my own world.<br />
<br />
4) Your forever crush.<br />
None. My brushes with crushes never last any more than a couple of months. But my first one would be the most special one, and that's Steffi Graf.<br />
<br />
5) One book you can read over and over again.<br />
It has to be Catcher In The Rye. Wait, let me read it once more.<br />
<br />
6) Your favorite family member?<br />
There cant be just one. Mom, dad and sis.<br />
<br />
7) Romantic love, or friendship?<br />
I've been lucky here. So friendship only,<br />
<br />
8) Apart from a blogger, you are…?<br />
Nothing much. Don't have much of a life, and write ad copy for a living.<br />
<br />
9) Best holiday you had was in (place)?<br />
Has to be the Andamans. Went there as a 6-year old. Still remember the golden sands. And every other beach has been a disappointment ever since.<br />
<br />
10) Most adventurous thing you have ever done is…?<br />
Heh! Well, does taking this questionnaire count? If not, I once played the role of a male ballet dancer in a play.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBZsTPNUc4zl9NTq8agJe0MeAn5Gy2kqP7hyphenhyphencyYSWDfnBw7r7NX0RFBYUqhyoXuujumU5QCWBLsRr4U448hb-W38wsGvbh1NYWaQDEqLtxeuqp9Y49Dbj5NvvV8mWay4tDc1JLqtQKDQYF/s1600/liebsterblogaward.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBZsTPNUc4zl9NTq8agJe0MeAn5Gy2kqP7hyphenhyphencyYSWDfnBw7r7NX0RFBYUqhyoXuujumU5QCWBLsRr4U448hb-W38wsGvbh1NYWaQDEqLtxeuqp9Y49Dbj5NvvV8mWay4tDc1JLqtQKDQYF/s320/liebsterblogaward.png" width="320" /></a><b>I nominate the following blogs for the Liebster Award</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<a href="http://www.simblybored.com/">http://www.simblybored.com/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://taxfreethoughts.wordpress.com/">http://taxfreethoughts.wordpress.com/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://cupandchaucer.wordpress.com/">http://cupandchaucer.wordpress.com/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://mochachilo.wordpress.com/">http://mochachilo.wordpress.com/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://be-sandeep.blogspot.in/">http://be-sandeep.blogspot.in/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://kidakaka.com/blog/category/funny/">http://kidakaka.com/blog/category/funny/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.darshi-bappa.blogspot.in/">http://www.darshi-bappa.blogspot.in/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://joylita.com/">http://joylita.com/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://anamedoesntmatter.blogspot.in/">http://anamedoesntmatter.blogspot.in/</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://sameerdharur.blogspot.in/">http://sameerdharur.blogspot.in/</a><br />
<br />
The questions for my nominees<br />
<br />
1. Share the link of the funniest blog post you've read.<br />
<br />
2. If you could live the life of one character from literature, who would it be?<br />
<br />
3. If you were to be stuck in one city for the rest of your life, which would it be?<br />
<br />
4. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?<br />
<br />
5. Who is your biggest blogging role model?<br />
<br />
6. What prompted you to write your first ever blog post?<br />
<br />
7. What book are you currently reading?<br />
<br />
8. Where do you plan to holiday next?<br />
<br />
9. What's your favourite drink( alcoholic preferably)?<br />
<br />
10. What's the weirdest(exotic if you insist) food you've sampled?<br />
<br />
Cheers!</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-56442194761753578412013-10-30T00:58:00.000-07:002013-10-30T01:00:38.996-07:00Whats New? What News?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There comes a time in your life when cheap thrills cease to be...well, cheap. When everything you do is subjected to a cost-benefit analysis in a neat looking excel sheet titled "daily expenses", and the high point of your day is a five rupee coin you magically discover when your fifth-hand semi automatic Washing Machine starts rattling a new tune. And that's when you start asking yourself, "When is the next pay check coming, b******d?" You also discover at least 91 new words in a reply to "What's new?" ( If you include the words in the parenthesis, make that 102)<br />
<br />
Lets call it the quarter crisis. It's not to be mistaken for quarter-life crisis, when the hair you lose on your head magically appears in places you'd never imagined, like ear lobes. More about that later, after a few years hopefully.The quarter crisis occurs when you accompany friends to a swanky bar and realise you cant even afford any more than a quarter bottle of your favourite drink. And that's when you make a calculated decision like, "I think I'll stick to beer only. One Kingfisher pint, please." <br />
<br />
Yes, much has changed. New job. New city. New companion. New friends. New books. New ring on the finger. New found obsession for loose change. But mostly, it's still the same. Still cribbing about how expensive things are. Still complaining about how little I save. Still whining about how little time I have for myself. Still trying to catch up on lost sleep. Here's to "same old, same old". Cheers, I guess. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-2536638814906136352013-10-03T03:56:00.000-07:002013-10-03T05:50:11.561-07:00Bombay's Not-to-do List <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
1. Hop into a fast train when you don’t
know if it will stop at your destination<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
2. Hop into Virar Fast, even if you
know where you are headed<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
3. If you ignore point 1 and 2, then
get into a Virar Fast and joke about how it’s too slow to be called fast<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
4. Make a cricketing reference to
point 3, like calling the Virar Fast the Venkatesh Prasad of the Mumbai Local
Trains<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
5. Ask a station master where to buy
tickets<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
6. Show off your first class pass<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
7. Ask two people on which side the
platform comes. The first one will take offense at your lack of trust<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
8. Joke about how people here love
hanging out with friends in trains, quite literally<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
9. Tell somebody that you won’t be
getting off at the next stop<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
10. Fall asleep while you are standing
inside a crowded train<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
11. Get off a train against the
momentum<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
12. Wait till the train stops at
Kurla<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
13. Ask a local to wait in the auto
queue<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
14. Hop into an auto and call the man
bhaiya when he talks to you in Marathi<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
15. Try explaining to the “bhaiya”(or
not) that Khar 19<sup>th</sup> road is the same thing as Khar Uneesva.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
16. Try taking an Auto at Kurla<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
17. Try looking for an Auto at Dadar<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
18. Hop into a bus at South Bombay.
Five stops later, you’ll find that you are still at a walkable distance from
your first stop<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
19. Hop into a bus when you only need
to get off at the next stop<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
20. Listen to the cabbies sob story.
He watches more Reality TV than you do <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
21. Ask the man on the street where
you’d get the best vada pav<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
22. Calling any deal from Chor bazaar
a steal<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
23. Support any team other than Mumbai
Indians. Even India wouldn’t do<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
24. Bring up the subject of Sachin’s
poor form<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
25. Bring up the subject of Sachin’s
retirement<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
26. Ask people how much rent they
pay. It’s worse than asking them how much they earn<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
27. Ask a hakim on the street where
you could find the closest medical store<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
28. Ask a roadside vendor where’s the
nearest ATM<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
29. Ask a Sandwich walla where he
buys vegetables<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
30. Ask the pani puri walla where you
could buy drinking water<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
31. Stand in front of Shah Rukh Khan’s
house just to call one hardcore fan and tell her that. You just look like an
idiot<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
32. Argue with a fan that SRK is
actually a delhi boy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
33. Go to a Bombay beach to smell the
fresh ocean air<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
34. Go to Leopold’s and insist on a
fast service<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
35. Go to Mondegar’s immediately
after Leopold’s<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
36. Ask a Teen Batti resident why its
called Teen Batti<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
37. Tell him why it’s called Teen
Batti<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
38. Wear your best pair of shoes if
you are pandal hopping during Ganesh Chathurthi<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
39. Take a train on Ganesh Visarjan
day<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
40. Search for the fort at Fort<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
41. Ask for Kala Ghoda once you’re at
Kala Ghoda<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
42. Joke around asking if Titwala was
named after a friendly parsee gentleman<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
43. Eat Missal Pav when you’re
wearing a white shirt<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
44. Asking a cabbie what a visitor
could do at Grant Road<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
45. Complain about how you have no
time in life<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
46. Complain about how little you
earn<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
47. Complain <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
48. Tell a Mumbaikar you are writing
a list like this one<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
49. And that you’ve managed to write
upto No. 49<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
50. Insist on calling the city Bombay
and not Mumbai.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-46670972971448081132013-09-29T01:31:00.000-07:002013-09-29T01:31:19.157-07:00I'm a Modern Man by George Carlin.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ah! What a self-intro!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>“I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and
smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is
anatomically and ecologically incorrect. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I’ve been up linked and downloaded,
I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the
downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge,
state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a
nanosecond! </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward
bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice
activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in
cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet
and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve
got no need for coke and speed. I’ve got no urge to binge and purge. I’m
in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept,
low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A
top-gun bottom feeder. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps
and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with
a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab
and in denial! </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal
assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down
because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers. I’m
a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front,
down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting,
high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I’m a hands-on,
foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a
love-child that sends me hate mail. But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing,
I’m sharing– a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>My output is
down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my
revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy
junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive,
user-friendly and lactose intolerant. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I like rough sex. I like tough love. I
use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore–no
soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a
mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized,
ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized,
hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved,
pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I
have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal.
Lean and mean! </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to
bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide
in my stride. Drivin’ and movin’, sailin’ and spinin’, jiving and groovin’,
wailin’ and winnin’. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the
metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time.
I’m hangin’ in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin’ tough, over and out!”</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/hkCR-w3AYOE" width="420"></iframe></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-19292958401520789932013-09-05T12:13:00.001-07:002013-09-05T12:13:41.573-07:00Charged with...wait for it...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I confess. I'm guilty. Of procrastination. Of spending
several days thinking and planning what needed to be done yesterday, only to
put it off for tomorrow. Of taking matters in my own hands, and then
conveniently sweeping it under the carpet when nobody's watching, only hoping
to miraculously pull it out later, along with the rug that the very same people were
standing on. I plead guilty of all this and more. I could of course present the end that could justify
my means in this very sentence. But then I think I’ll save that for later. In
the last paragraph of this hearing, which I’ll be able to write the first thing
tomorrow morning. After I’ve slept over it. Perhaps.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You see, I don’t intentionally delay my actions by a day at
the very least. It’s just that I was born that way. A full fifteen minutes
later than scheduled. And that was because the doctor on duty was delayed by a
train he missed. Only because the man at the counter insisted on tendering
exact change. Which the good doctor had to produce only after a detailed
excavation of his briefcase. One should never rush in the matters of such financial
transactions after all. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now you’d say 15 minutes is hardly a delay. What it did to
my life however was cascade it into a ledger full of backlogs. I learned to
talk at least 15 days later, joined kindergarten at least 15 months later, learnt
to cycle at least 15 years later, and learned to ask a girl at least 15
lifetimes later.( I once had asked a nice girl out on a date, but only went to
pick her up on the wrong date.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This handicap of mine also seems to rub off on people I deal with. The newspaper
reaches 20 minutes after I get out of the pot. The maid walks in one hour after
I’ve done the dishes. The paycheck gets credited one week after I’m broke. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But let me assure you. It’s not that I while away hours,
waiting to finish any job long after it is due. I’m just incradibly busy trying to ride
an ocean of tasks that were previously shelved. But about a month back, I had
an awakening of sorts. I decided to do something about this, and went and picked
up the first tome I could find on time management. I took some time out to read
and implement these changes into my life. The book on effective time management took me more time to read thank I had imagined - 23
days. Which is why, I was forced to write this piece a full month after
I first thought of it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know I should not end any blog post abruptly. But honestly, would you care to spend any more time reading a piece like this? With this
responsibility in mind, I rest my case. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-2174297824762107932013-08-06T12:04:00.000-07:002013-08-06T21:47:53.564-07:00Plain Broke!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm always
fascinated by man's desire to hold on to things that are absolutely worthless. As a result, ones life is overly populated with objects that serve no
purpose whatsoever. Seriously! Look around you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have two sets of
desktop speakers that have collectively done little else than occupy space and collect dust since 2009, three phones that I used to
carry before the one I’m currently using (which again is over two years old) and
my old iPod shuffle that still contains the latest album I’d downloaded shortly
after its release,(which is Ministry of Sound Annual 2007). Does the iPod still
work, you ask. Well, I couldn’t say. I haven’t found the earphones that I last
saw in…That’s right. 2007! Not to forget three expired ATM cards that were
forced upon me every time I changed a job (and hence a salary account). Now I
wonder if I also have the chequebook that I’d applied for in the summer of
2008. It must be here somewhere among all the 6 years’ Airtel bills that are
still neatly tucked inside their respective envelops. (Just kidding! I switched
to an email option three years back, so I only have bills up until June 2010)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m starting to
believe that every object that is created today, especially those built for the
betterment of mankind, is “designed” to serve the purpose only for a short
while. After which, it only piles on. This applies to every modern-day gadget / appliance
/ tool except that VCD player you won as a gift at a game show. And that’s
because you never even opened it from the case and packed it off as a gift at
the next wedding you were invited to. And besides, you’d already graduated to
DVDs by then, hadn't you?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other
exception is probably the 2 GB pendrive you got when you redeemed your Credit
Card points for the first time. It still does its job of carrying as a souvenir a virus, at least one each from every single system it’s been plugged into.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now let me have a look at all the other things
around me that I Once fell for like a ton
of bricks when I first lay my eyes on them, but now only compete with me for some precious space in my room. A visiting card book, containing cards of people I'm never going to call again. An organizer with
a parker pen neatly placed in a holder, used only once when my name had to be written. A 2009 Calendar featuring Bollywood
hotties as shot by Daboo Ratnani. CD Album, carrying freeware CDs that still contain demo versions of Sonic the Hedgehog. An off-white coffee mug, that’s
only been used to hold pens that don’t write anymore. 24 issues of GQ magazine,
which I subscribed to hoping I’d upgrade my style as I approach the 30s. 36 issues of Time Magazine, which I subscribed to hoping that it would help me sound
my age. And a digital weighing scale that needs recalibration every time I add
a kilo.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But here’s where
you’ll really feel shortchanged. When you are sold the idea of how functional
these things are “designed” to be, they seem like something that’d you’d give
your arm and leg to own. Like a spare kidney or something. And for a while, it actually seems like your
life actually depends on it. Like it is your only kidney or something. And all
hell breaks loose when it suddenly stops working. Like you need a kidney
transplant on the pronto or something. But after a while, it only contributes
to the junk around you. Just like those empty bottles of alcohol, which might
be the real reason why you need a spare kidney or something.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your mobile phone
is a fine example of how unnecessary these luxuries really are. As
a device, your phone is actually meant to help you make calls when you are on
the move. But surely, that’s not good enough. Today a phone needs to come with
a PS3 integrated into it, along with a 52 inch LED screen, a Home Theatre
system with surround sound, and if that’s still not enough, the whole of IMDB
Top 250 loaded into it. So you never really find the time to use it make one
phone call. How could you? (<st1:place w:st="on">Battery</st1:place>) Life is
too short and you have so much to do. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of which leads
me to believe that thanks to all these - pardon the oxymoron - unnecessary
necessities, life has become way too expensive. Which is why if any of these
oddities broke one fine day, you feel really broke. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that if I were ever to
live my life again, I’d reside in a distant village that was completely devoid of
all these gadgets or luxuries. Yes, really. Okay, maybe I’ll carry just one iPad… and get a
good broadband connection…and a functional microwave…oh wait, and a fully
automatic washing machine…okay, and a set top box with all the sports channels…and
a 52 inch LED TV…and a PS3...Oh and some good B&O speakers...and one e-book reader, with thousands of e-books…and a large refrigerator…and a lazyboy with a beer bottle holder...and
a titanium credit card…That should suffice. Or would it?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-54748905517102137882013-07-25T23:37:00.000-07:002013-08-01T01:26:24.780-07:00The Lighter Side Of Smoking<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If there's one thing that being a copywriter has taught me, it's this - "Can we see some more options?" I cant possibly imagine how many people have suffered multiple cerebral hemorrhages just thinking up more options for lines as simple as - "Mutual Fund Investments are subject to market risks. Please read the offer letter carefully before investing". I'm sure that was the fate of the guy who first coined the famous Statutory Warning on cigarette packets. I'm sure coming up with multiple options for the same message proved to be more injurious to his health than the damn cigarettes anyway. Ever wondered what those rejected messages were like? Here goes:<br />
<br />
Statutory Warning: Lighting a cigarette on the gas stove can be risky. Please consult experts before attempting such a task<br />
<br />
Statuatory Warning: Smoking is injurious to your reputation. Please carry strong mints at all times.<br />
<br />
Statuatory Warning: Smoking a cigarette is really cheap. Please tender exact change.<br />
<br />
Statuatory Warning: Smoking a cigarette is the best way to blow your money. Please don't bother reading fine print before you invest.<br />
<br />
Statuatory Warning: Life sucks anyway. Here's something for you to suck on.<br />
<br />
Statuatory Warning: Smoking is legal. Just saying. <br />
<br />
Statuatory Warning: We are not allowed to advertise unless we say this. Just wanted to let you know.<br />
<br />
Statuatory Warning: The proceeds from this sale will be utilized for Cancer research<br />
<br />
Statutory Warning: Smoking during pregnancy will result in your child turning out to be the next Rahul Gandhi<br />
<br />
Statutory Warning: Longer Cigarrettes. Because overcompensation is the only solution.<br />
<br />
Statutory Warning: Best recommended for those times when you'll see no other action.<br />
<br />
Statutory Warning: Ever wondered what Statutory meant? Brought to you by www.dictionary.com</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-56637150811476550082013-07-10T22:53:00.000-07:002013-07-11T01:54:41.473-07:00Date a guy who wants to make Fraandship.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Date a guy who sends you a Fraand request. Because he will
always want to take you to the nearest Café Coffee Day, while you are busy
trying to be a girl who <a href="http://littlemissdorkette.tumblr.com/post/3118512524/date-a-girl-who-reads-by-rosemarie-urquico" target="_blank">reads</a>, <a href="http://effietheant.tumblr.com/post/4756460531/date-a-girl-who-writes-by-effie-sapuridis" target="_blank">writes</a>,<a href="http://www.solitarywanderer.com/2012/02/date-a-girl-who-travels/" target="_blank"> travels</a>, or does all of the above while also
perusing your spambox for mails from your exes, and belting a plate of <a href="http://elmariachi88.wordpress.com/2013/05/05/date-a-girl-who-likes-biryani/" target="_blank">Biryani</a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Date a guy you found on facebook. Date a guy who’s never met
you otherwise. Because he will always Like your comments. Even if you could
only come up with creative variants of “Awesome”. Like “Osama”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Find a guy who reads every FB post of yours. You’ll know that
because he will always be the first one to leave a smiley as a comment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s the one who types “awww” only because he
means it. Do you see that weirdo who nearly choked to death when the oregano
seasoning went down his wind pipe when he tried laughing? That’s the man. He
usually cannot resist laughing, especially when he reads something LOL-worthy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He’s the guy who always flashes his latest Micromax A116
Canvas HD while waiting at that coffee shop down your street. If you peek at
his mug, the cup is empty. Peek again after a couple of hours, and it’s the same
cup, because he’s too engrossed already to know that you’ve been waiting for
him to leave so you can take his table. He’s just lost among the Likes and the
Shares on his FB Newsfeed. Sit down. He might give you a stare, as most guys
who spend every waking our poring on Facebook like to be interrupted by a
divine apparition of a living breathing woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask him if he likes his new phone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Buy him another cup of coffee. He’ll love that. That’ll let
him sit at the same table for another couple of hours.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let him know what you really think of the latest “Keep Calm”
meme post on his wall. See if he gets the sarcasm on your latest status
message. Understand that if he says he understood “Chillaana hai to ‘India,
India’ chillaana. ‘Pak Pak’ to murga bhi karta hai”, he’s saying that just to
sound cool. Ask him if he likes the “World’s Most Interesting Man” meme or he
would like to be the “World’s Most Interesting Man” meme.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s really easy to date a guy who has Rahul Dravid’s
picture as his user pic. He could just be your friendly neighbourhood Rahul
Roy. Or even that easily forgotten Rahul Mahajan, who was your classmate in
school. But one thing he’ll always believe is he’s the Rahul who’ll sweep you
off your feet with a well-timed, “Mar gaya Rahul”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just tag him on a nice FB post for his birthday. Include him
in a generic status message that simply reads “Merry Christmas”, and he’ll
assume it’s dedicated to him. Share any 9gag post on his wall, and it’ll make
his day. Send him a link of the latest post from ‘I Fucking Love Science’ and
he’ll love your fucking intelligence. Understand that he knows the difference
between FB and life, but he’ll go out of his way to turn his life into a FB
newsfeed. And it’ll never be your fault if he does.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lie to him. He’ll know that you only did it to maintain your
FB reputation. It’s not the end of the world. Okay, his world.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fail him. Because the guy who updates his FB status every
hour knows that not every post will be Liked by his 2038 friends. Because a guy
who updates his status knows that there’s always the next FB post. That you can
always write another status message that’ll get likes. At least 10 likes. That
life is meant to at least have one post or two every day that you’ll be forced
to delete.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? The guy
who posts some celebrity’s post as his userpic knows that you don’t anything
like Deepika Padukone, whose picture you may have used as a userpic.<br />
<br />
If you find a guy who wants to make fraandship, keep him
close. When you find him up at 2 AM clutching his smartphone so close to his
eyes that it starts watering, make him a cup of tea and hold him. You may lose
him for a couple of hours but he will always come back to you. He’ll talk as if
the farm he built in Farmville 2 is real, because for a while, it always is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He will propose by tagging you on a post with a picture of a
hot air balloon. Or picture of aging rock star, along with his lyrics. Or very
casually next time you are online. Yes, his writing will be on your wall.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your brain hasn’t
burst and bled out all over your shoulders yet. You will write the story of
your lives through FB status messages. You’ll have kids with strange names
belonging to strangers you were stalking together on Facebook. He will
introduce your children to Mafia Wars and Criminal Case, maybe in the same day.
You will walk the winters of your old age together and he will read out the
latest Y U No meme under his breath while you shake the snow off your boots.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Date a guy who wants to make fraandship because you deserve
it. You deserve a guy who can add colour to your dull Facebook wall. If you
plan to ignore his Facebook posts later in life, then you’re better off
ignoring his friend request. But if you want the world and the worlds beyond
it, date a guy who reads every post of yours on Facebook. Twice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or better yet, date a guy who always has the last LOL.</div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-63390039611340780152013-06-22T10:35:00.000-07:002013-06-22T10:53:15.459-07:00 Better Than The Best?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Think you are the best in business? I don't know what to tell you, old chap. On second thoughts, I do. You are behind times. Really! Being the best in business is a prehistoric proposition that every enterprise worth its best practices have told you since one man accidentally coined that phrase. The man in question was probably something of a head-hunting hitman from the 30s with a penchant for PR that was at least 73 years ahead of time. From the days when businesses were run in ramshackle warehouses, and when the top management not only wore suits, but also carried Tommy rifles. To be the best in business, you only had to be good enough to kill the man at the top.<br />
<br />
Times may have changed, but cliches remain the same. Everybody and their Facebook fans from Timbuktu claims to be the best in business. Even those who have no business to use that phrase. Just check out flipkart.com, search for management books, and count the number of times you hear the words "excellence", "best", "leadership"and "great". Oh and did you also notice that each of the aforementioned words are "bestsellers"? "Seven Habits Of Really Great People, " How To Win Friends And Become Great", " How To Hold On To Great, And Save Your Organisation From Being Reduced To Merely Good", " How To Protect Great With A Secure Payment Gateway So That Chinese Hackers Cannot Steal Your Great Ideas And Come Up With Great Imitations?"<br />
<br />
I wonder what all this means. So are we to believe that good is not good enough. Is "good" a word that you'll only use to describe your bowel movement in the morning? Is it because there is no room for good in our lives? Have we transformed into beasts that only demand the best? The kinds who'd tell a certain artist from Venice, " While your work is impressive, you'll have to do something about that smile. The Target Group has no time to ponder over the question of whether it's a half-smile, or half-scowl. And can we please change the name from Mona Lisa to something that strikes a chord with the youth of today. For any product to come alive, it needs to be something that the youth want to be associated with, and whose pictures they'd share on Facebook and Twitter. So please carry out the changes that are suggested. And can you mail me the revised work tonight? I'd like to check it out first thing the morning." <br />
<br />
I believe this "striving for the best" is a creature that has also taken control of our lives, because we seem to settle for nothing less. When we buy a TV, it's the best. When we tune into a sports channel, it's the best. When we fix a match, it's the best...our money can buy.<br />
<br />
The case is much stronger when people turn into parents. They only want the best for their child. Best school. Best fast food. Best dentists. Why, parents want the best for their children even before they are born. The minute they hear of pregnancy, expecting mothers stop doing things they normally do, like go to the best bars, drink the best booze, and nurse the best hangovers. Instead, they'd do things that are better, like go to the best restaurants, eat the best chocolates, and play the best word games on their smartphones. The belief being that when they are born, their babies will come fully prepared to take the GRE. But you don't have to take my word for it. Because I can't really call myself the best in business. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-73839059628780300062013-05-21T05:07:00.000-07:002013-05-21T05:15:11.683-07:00IPL 2013 or Jumping Jepang Season 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO1cTy5n-4bU20m6e6hXhnj5N5wv8VtAV_eMil9DLt7F32KouZtTVIq1lESU2DoI3aQH8_xNK2mLUUh72cgcGrf6JBNbbCdsK4VBVeOVBGwcMzI0LOsJ6O_c_nR9Tnqj9mCPcyag9_pfCl/s1600/IPL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO1cTy5n-4bU20m6e6hXhnj5N5wv8VtAV_eMil9DLt7F32KouZtTVIq1lESU2DoI3aQH8_xNK2mLUUh72cgcGrf6JBNbbCdsK4VBVeOVBGwcMzI0LOsJ6O_c_nR9Tnqj9mCPcyag9_pfCl/s320/IPL.jpg" width="320" /></a>After watching Sunrisers Hyderabad make it to the playoff, I was convinced of one thing - IPL is definitely the stuff dreams are made of. Only in the world that has IPL can any team, even those whose catchment area produces nothing more than a bunch of schoolboys who get dismissed for 21 in First-class cricket, get a realistic shot at glory. Only in the world of IPL can a team whose players have already thrown in the towel still end up coming third in a league of nine. Only in the world of IPL can Shah Rukh stretch out his arms in public while Lata Mangeshkar's voice croaks," La la la la la la la la la la ( repeat 37 times for effect)".<br />
<br />
We are now so much into this whole sports entertainment thingie, that we cant wait to watch the commercials that will be aired on the 26th May ( Promise! Read <a href="http://mypaisworth.blogspot.in/2013/04/ipls-shitty-moments-of-success.html" target="_blank">this</a> if doubt my love for IPL). So much so that we've been trying to imagine what new surprises are going to unfold in the next week, until May 26th, when Ravi Shastri will hand over the highly ornate and grotesque Indian Premier League trophy to the game of Cricket. Here's our list of predictions:<br />
<br />
May 21st: Qualifier 1 is abandoned, owing to an unforeseen traffic jam outside the Indira Gandhi Airport, the team bus is forced to take a U-turn and enter the airport runway to catch the last direct flight to Ranchi, where the match will be replayed the following day, due to the fact that the Eliminator match is scheduled at the Kotla the same day.<br />
<br />
May 22nd: Crowd anger forces all four teams to reach Kotla. Confusion ensues as the spectators for both the games end up reaching the stadium. A compromise is reached. Two 8-over matches will be played. The first game will be the qualifier featuring Mumbai and Chennai. The second game featuring Hyderabad and Rajasthan. The crowd for the first game will be asked to vacate seats immediately for those spectators who had reserved tickets for the 9:45 show...err match.<br />
<br />
May 22nd, Match 1: The first match begins and very predictably ... it goes down the wire. There's two runs required of the last ball, Mumbai is 9 wickets down with Pollard facing the inimitable Ravindra Jadeja. In the most expected of anticlimaxes, Ravindra Jadeja bowls a quicker one, which beats Pollard, and he's caught plumb in front of the wicket. The Chennai goes up in unison. The umpire Asnani says, "Sorry. I sneezed just as Sir Jadeja bowled, so I didn't notice. Third Umpire, help maadi!" The TV replays suggested that Jadeja had clearly overstepped, so it was a no-ball. Then in the most obvious of situations, cameras also detected Pollard quickly kicking the ball away immediately after it hit him on the pad. He's declared out for obstructing the field. It's a tie! The super over fell just short of the wire, when Mumbai score 23 runs for the loss of one wicket, while the Chennai openers remain unbeaten on 12. Mumbai proceed to the finals. <br />
<br />
May 22nd, Match 2: For the longest time, it seemed like cricket would be the winner. But once the match eventually started at 1: 30 pm in front of an empty Kotla stadium. the organisers made it more interesting by having a bilateral series of tosses between the two captains. At the end of the 5-match series, Hyderabad beat Rajasthan 4-1, with Cameron White displaying his value to the team by coming back from 1-0 to calling 4 consecutive tosses correctly. "After winning two tosses, we didn't want to lose momentum, so I went for the kill", said a calm White. Hyderabad to play Chennai in the Eliminator. <br />
<br />
May 23rd, 2013: When N Srinivasan calls a press conference, one Sreesanth look-alike suddenly appears out of nowhere and hurls a match box and runs away. Out of nowhere (not where Sree look alike turned up) a Dhoni look-alike dives in front of Srini and saves a certain embarrassment with a smart one handed catch. Out of another nowhere, a Bhajji look-alike shows up infront of the Sree lookalike, and gives him one tight slap. " Throwing matches again, are you?", says the proud Sardar. The Dhoni look-alike gifts the Sree look-alike a single match stick to Sree look-alike saying, " At least you'll see some light in jail." At the end of this staged act, we are assured that this is a Guerrilla campaign for Ship Matches - The Real Match Winner!<br />
<br />
May 24th, 2013: Just a few hours before the start of the Qualifier two between Chennai and Hyderabad, the trading end season trading window opens, allowing surviving teams to buy players from eliminated teams. Chennai are quick to buy Watson and Faulkner to add to their list of all-rounders. Mumbai buys out Narine, Gayle and Warner to beef up their team. The owners of Hyderabad are too broke, so Sanga, Parthiv, White, Steyn, Ishant, Mishra and Dhawan go dutch and pick up...Venugopal Rao to boost their batting line up.<br />
<br />
May 24th, 2013: Everything goes according to the script when Sunrisers pay a homage to Deccan Chargers (basically the last year's outfits) by getting mustering up a par score of 119/9 in 20 overs. Everything goes as per script when Chennai require three runs of one ball when Ashish attempts a slower yorker only to trip on his own shoe lace, and letting the ball fly directly to the vacant fine leg region. 7 wides are declared and Chennai proceed to the finals.<br />
<br />
May 25th, 2013: The whole nation goes dizzy when they wake up to the news of Farah Khan entering the parliament house and teaching all the ministers what dance step to perform every time a state government falls. The Ministers are seen performing the "Jumping Jepang" in super Slo-mo, with Navjot Singh Sidhu providing expert political commentary. <br />
<br />
May 26, 2013: In a moment worthy of Star Plus Nayi Soch award, N Srinivasan turns the IPL Final into a reality show that will be judged by Anu Mallik, Sanjiv Kapoor and Raghu. The winner is decided by an SMS poll by the audience. After three hours of intense drama, which required Harbhajan to pair up with Farah Khan for an impromptu gig, the audience send in millions of votes, and thanks to thousands of votes coming in from Maharashtra and Gujrat, Urvashi Dholakia is declared the joint winner of IPL Season 6 along with...You're right! Cricket. But then, you saw that coming, didn't you?<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-35337527549994574562013-05-06T23:16:00.002-07:002013-05-06T23:16:29.044-07:00Dust If You Must<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Just read this fine poem and had to share it here. Cant seem to trace the poet, since it seems to be attributed to many. Whoever wrote this one is surely one fine poet. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Dust if you must.<br />
But wouldn’t it be better,<br />
To paint a picture, or write a letter,<br />
Bake a cake, or plant a seed?<br />
Ponder the difference between want and need.</i></div>
<i>
</i><div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Dust if you must.<br />
But there is not much time<br />
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!<br />
Music to hear, and books to read,<br />
Friends to cherish and life to lead.</i></div>
<i>
</i><div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Dust if you must.<br />
But the world’s out there<br />
With the sun in your eyes,<br />
the wind in your hair,<br />
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.<br />
This day will not come round again.</i></div>
<i>
</i><div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Dust if you must.<br />
But bear in mind,<br />
Old age will come and it’s not kind.<br />
And when you go, and go you must,<br />
You, yourself, will make more dust.</i></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-76301942369238015732013-05-01T03:36:00.000-07:002013-05-01T03:40:59.840-07:00Snappy Replies at IPL's Post Match Ceremonies <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
IPL perhaps boasts of everything any bollywood summer blockbuster can ask for - damsels with great faces and greater legs, overweight men indulging in breath taking action (with a little help from stunning camerawork of course), occasional foreign hand or two ruffling some feathers and raking up some controversy, opposition captains plotting deviously to upset your happy ending, periodic song and dance, and of course, three hours of watching damsels with great faces and greater legs. Where IPL makes for great entertainment in each of the aforementioned practices, it loses out greatly in one department - dialogue. The problem is match in and match out, the winning captains and losing captains are subjected to the same drill of post match ceremonies. Coming as it is at the end of the match, the anchor is blessed with hindsight that's fueled by Quikr Super Sixer, Super Fours by More supermarket and Fall of Wickets by IRCTC Tickets. the unsuspecting captains however have no such benefit, given that they don't have the luxury of watching Laxman Sivaramakrishnan doing a Jumping Japang Jumpak Jampak with Rameez Raja while playing the game. That makes it an uneven match doesn't it? So to all the participating captains at the IPL, here's a guide to dish out some entertaining stuff at the post match ceremonies:<br />
<br />
Question: As a captain, you must have believed that there were enough runs on the board. what happened after that?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif8DsR-LEEKkw0CVLksT9anZpMDnf_FoSLxUC5d1NFk6wVpWaGTy0pEfkNnARaLygymqJd_S3Ykii5e0IysTO4Telvd09JlAfaplv5RUZbWybH4sN9ZL36C5CZTF4enSVh01NtvIdabc3m/s1600/IPL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif8DsR-LEEKkw0CVLksT9anZpMDnf_FoSLxUC5d1NFk6wVpWaGTy0pEfkNnARaLygymqJd_S3Ykii5e0IysTO4Telvd09JlAfaplv5RUZbWybH4sN9ZL36C5CZTF4enSVh01NtvIdabc3m/s400/IPL.jpg" width="400" /></a>Answer: Well, lads and I decided that we've had a long day at work, so watching an episode of Balika Vadhu will help us relax. It didn't work.<br />
<br />
Question: But the home team was dealing in boundaries. Is there anything you could have done at that point?<br />
<br />
Answer: Yes. I could have retired from the game, suited up, stepped into the commentary box, and tried<br />
crafting a more creative question.<br />
<br />
Question: What does a captain do when everything he tries seems to fail?<br />
<br />
Answer: The secret lies in never having a shave before a match. It's moments like these when you can indulge in age old practice of gently stroking your 5 'o clock shadow.<br />
<br />
Question: What do you tell your team in the face of such a brutal onslaught?<br />
<br />
Answer: I ask them if any of them are downloading a Blue-ray rip of Iron Man 3D on their laptops in the dressing room. At the end of the day, I carry my Portable Harddrive to their rooms and extract some new downloads in exchange for some old porn.<br />
<br />
Question: Tell us what was running in your mind when you took that sensational catch at long on?<br />
<br />
Answer: If I did not pluck the ball out of thin air as you put it, I could picture the team owners chasing me with power tools after the match. So I had to take that catch.<br />
<br />
Question: Now how did you take the skier at the boundary?<br />
<br />
Answer: You see I was just minding my own business walking around the park when some geezer decided to take the bowler to the cleaners. Now that would have been quite alright under normal circumstances. But I had to interefere when the ball was headed straight for the...cheerleader's face. Call me old fashioned, but there are better ways of attracting the attention of a pretty lady than throwing a 1 KG projectile aimed at her head.<br />
<br />
Question: What's the mood like in the dugout?<br />
<br />
Answer: Everyone's busy, checking out their laptops and iPads, signing into to facebook and twitter, trying their hand at writing a #SirRavindraJadeja tweet, or RTing the ones that MS Dhoni wrote on his wall. Just another day in office, I guess.<br />
<br />
Question: At the end of the day, it must be very difficult for an international cricketer like you to lead an IPL team?<br />
<br />
Answer: Not quite. This is just a fantastic annual vacation. Every year I fly down to Hyderabad, and stay at a 5-star deluxe hotel. We get to check out eight other cities over two months. And at the end of each of the 16 matches, we head out to a club and party till the wee hours of the morning. Occasionally, I'm hungover when I have to board a flight, but a strip of Avomin is a small price to pay in exchange for all the partying and travelling and great food and great women and of course the USD 570,000 that I get paid at the end of it. Yea, I could have probably got more, but hey! That's far better than staying back home in Brisbane without a job.<br />
<br />
Question: The crowds here seem to love you. Do you have any words for them?<br />
<br />
Answer: NO actually I dont. But lets try: Hey people! Thanks for coming in. And dont forget to follow me on twitter. I'm just 53,096 followers short of a million. Peace!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-32483483269179624572013-04-28T02:49:00.002-07:002013-04-28T02:50:00.640-07:00IPL's Shitty Moments of Success<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Good Evening, Hyderabad! Are you ready for a <b>Standard Fireworks Sivakasi </b>cracker of a game awaiting you at the <b>Paradise Biryani</b> International Stadium?<br />
<br />
At the toss, captain Sanga called <b>Pantene Silky & Shiny</b> heads and it was the <b>Pepsi Right Choice, Baby</b>! He has elected to have a <b>Puma Cricket Gear</b> bat.<br />
<br />
At this point of time, all three <b>T.I.M.E Classes 100% Results</b> are possible.<br />
<br />
It's important for <b>Royal Challenge Bottle Openers</b> to give the <b>Lodha's</b> home<b> </b>team a <b>Cadburys Shubh Aarambh </b>start<b> </b>to the innings.<br />
<br />
All the viewers are <b>Sonata Watch</b>ing the game thanks to the kind <b>Sahara Group </b>support from our<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-UC2F2zrS7uuNjr5UVCCQVGkY2TikOHh51usgSLkXkGfKBCcZLcLuUosVRSJQCVyqGiSOvnh9qE3EQYF3S9-OWbG-d_aeqZdtAzcES6iiRbVyx24xKigwuv2n7cB73U8iaYPfgxYe6OJc/s1600/preity-katrina.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-UC2F2zrS7uuNjr5UVCCQVGkY2TikOHh51usgSLkXkGfKBCcZLcLuUosVRSJQCVyqGiSOvnh9qE3EQYF3S9-OWbG-d_aeqZdtAzcES6iiRbVyx24xKigwuv2n7cB73U8iaYPfgxYe6OJc/s400/preity-katrina.jpg" width="270" /></a><b> Kisna Diamond</b> sponsor <b>Pepsi, </b>our <b>Malabar Gold</b> sponsor <b>Vodafone</b>, and our <b>Yes Bank</b> group of local businesses who agreed to our terms of sponsorship with an affirmative.<br />
<br />
A <b>Lays Magic Masala </b>crisp shot to the covers takes the home team to score of 45 for <b>BSE All Profit No Loss. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
The <b>Ghajini Replay </b>clearly tells us the batsman's time at the crease is <b>7 UP</b>.<br />
<br />
The batting seems to be running out of <b>Appy Fizz.</b>, and they'll need some <b>Servo Premium</b> fuel to go the <b>Xtra Mile</b>.<br />
<b><br /></b>
After the fall of four <b>Star Plus Kamzor Kadi Kaun</b> wickets, the lower middle order is left to lay a <b>Hathi Cement</b> foundation for final over <b>Channel V Big Hits.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
There is no margin for <b>Microsoft Windows</b> error and the bowlers have to maintain their <b>Natraj Geometry Box</b> line and length.<br />
<br />
Taking quick <b>Shaadi.com </b>singles is the the <b>Link Locks </b>key to T20 success.<br />
<br />
When you take wickets regularly, half your <b>XBOX Halo </b>battle is won.<br />
<br />
That's <b>Pulla Reddy Sweetly</b> timed, but it finds the <b>Godrej Safe </b>hands of the man at <b>Ohri's Nautanki </b>Gully.<br />
<br />
The A<b>merican Express Travelers Check</b> bounce seems to have added some <b>Priya Pickle </b>spice to this game.<br />
<br />
Lets not take away anything from the bowling side who have put in an <b>Dr Batra's </b>clinical performance and exploited the opposition's <b>Apollo Hospitals</b> injury problems.<br />
<br />
The<b> Spice Jet</b> visitors are preparing for what could be a <b>Royal Stag</b> high-spirited chase.<br />
<br />
The ball was <b>Mahindra Logan</b> extra-wide, and it was deposited for a <b>Yes Bank Maximum</b>.<br />
<br />
The bowler now<b> Fedex </b>delivers a slower ball, which the batsman <b>Gillette Mach 3</b> edges to the <b>Victoria's Secret </b>first slip.<br />
<br />
The game is going down the <b>Havell's</b> wire. Both teams deserve to <b>Play Lotto</b> win.<br />
<br />
The <b>Asics </b>long hop was dispatched with the <b>Venky's </b>meat of the bat for a certain boundary. What a <b>Nerolac</b> finish!<br />
<br />
At the end of the day, <b>EA Sports Cricket 13</b> was the winner. This was indeed a great advertisement for the game. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-90449148616957540722013-04-15T06:12:00.000-07:002013-04-15T06:22:59.901-07:00You Say Best When You ... Got The Look. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
What's the dirtiest look that you have got from people?<br />
<br />
Is it the "What have I done to deserve this?" look you get from your mother when you show her your FB status message in response to "how was your day"?<br />
<br />
Is it the "Will you please retire that stupid line aready?" look you get from your friends who may have heard you crack your favourite "Good from far, but far from good" joke the 487th time since college?<br />
<br />
Or is it the "How do you always manage to piss off a woman and not get hit on your forehead with both her stilettos?" look that you get from a woman who has just met you, and courteously laughs when you ask her something cliched like, " Are you a celebrity? Because everyone seems to be turning around to have a good look at you?" <br />
<br />
Now just imagine if these looks could become a full blown conversation between the other members of a group who have been subjected to something very inappropriate. Lets just say you are a single man in a group that has husband 1 and wife 1, husband 2 and wife 2, BF 1 and GF 1 and finally BF 2 and GF 2. And in this august company, you choose to unleash your joke # 30 which goes, "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I sure love to make a bed rock." Here's what is likely to follow in a fraction of a second:<br />
<br />
Husband 1 to Husband 2: *Ha! Ha! Ha! Quickly check out how the women react* look<br />
<br />
Wife 1 to Wife 2: *I dread to think of the foolish woman who'll marry him* look<br />
<br />
GF 1 to GF 2: *No wonder he's still single* look<br />
<br />
BF 1 to BF 2: *No wonder he's still to get laid* look<br />
<br />
Wife 1 to Husband 1: *This is the last time we invite him home* look<br />
<br />
Husband 2 to Wife 2: *Hey! I just met him recently, okay!*look<br />
<br />
GF 1 to BF 1: *Please tell me this is not how you behave when I'm not around* look<br />
<br />
BF 2 to GF 2: *Chill! He's probably had a drink too many* look<br />
<br />
Wife 2 to Wife 1 : *Thank god nobody laughed* look<br />
<br />
GF 2 to GF 1: * Lets pretend not to have heard it and change the subject *<br />
<br />
Husband 1, Husband 2, BF 1, BF 2 to each other: * Should we laugh now before it gets worse?* look<br />
<br />
You to yourself: *shucks, nobody heard me. Let me just tweet this one* look<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-59283759321759068772013-03-29T10:30:00.000-07:002013-03-29T10:30:19.992-07:00Mad Man's History Lessons: Timeline 12<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mark Twain once said, "The ink with which history is
written is fluid prejudice". The great man could very easily be referring
to what's been happening right from the time the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://mypaisworth.blogspot.in/2012/06/mad-mans-history-lesson-introduction.html">first
piece</a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>of
this series was written. However, that may not entirely describe the events of
the 70s that we are going to discuss. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1970 – Mick Jagger is fined 200 pounds by the law
authorities for possession of Cannabis. Today, he sets a fine example for
law-breakers by a possession of 200 pounds of Cannabis at any given time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1971 – Sylmar earthquake hits the San Fernando Valley area
of <st1:state w:st="on">California</st1:state>.
Following years sees it become the Pornographic Capital of the world. Years
later, RHCP could have aptly described the state of <st1:city w:st="on">San Fernando</st1:city> in the lyrics of Californication
–destruction leads to a very rough road, but it also breeds erection – but they
didn’t.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1972 – A theft at the Watergate complex resulted in much
embarrassment for the US Government with President Nixon forced to resign over
threats of impeachment. It also opened a floodgate for the nomenclature of a
number of scandals that followed, each of which was suffixed with the word
gate.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1973 – A tennis match titled “<st1:city w:st="on">Battle</st1:city> of the Sexes” saw a 52-year old Sir
Bobby Riggs get beaten by the 26-year old Billy Jean King in three straight
sets. Riggs proved that while most women refuse to reveal their age, men refuse
to behave their age. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1974 – IRA bombs pubs in <st1:place w:st="on">Birmingham</st1:place>, only after the beer was consumed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1975 – Cod War breaks out between <st1:country-region w:st="on">Britain</st1:country-region>
and <st1:country-region w:st="on">Iceland</st1:country-region> when <st1:country-region w:st="on">Iceland</st1:country-region> extends
its fishing rights to 200 miles. Perhaps the only time in history when fishing
becomes competitive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1976 – The world’s longest Pier is destroyed by fire. It’s
what they call poetic injustice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1977 – The first Apple Computer goes on sale. Steve Jobs
buys his first of many Black Turtlenecks. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1978 – <st1:place w:st="on">Arcade</st1:place> games invade
retail space with the launch of Space Invaders</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1979 – For the first time in history in 1979 a woman
Margaret Thatcher is elected Prime minister in the <st1:country-region w:st="on">UK</st1:country-region>. Also for the first time in
history, men resort to the English joke of the “Home Ministry” while referring
to the missus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This brings us to the last part of our Timeline series.
Partly because the author cannot bring himself to be a part of History of the
following years, owing to his own birth in the early 80s. Mostly because too
much seems to have happened in his lifetime. This however does not mean the
series ends. Quite the contrary! In fact, we’ll now revisit any chapter in
history at random, and go into greater depths in our search of historical
histrionics. As Calvin( The famous six year old philosopher) puts it, “ History
is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and
that life has order and direction”. So until our next attempt at rewriting
history, so long!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-65272818690400320812013-03-07T05:27:00.000-08:002013-03-07T05:28:59.790-08:00We Didn't Start The Spoofing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've always wanted to write my own version of this Billy Joel song. But thought it's just easier to spoof it.<br />
So sing it to the tune of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFTLKWw542g" target="_blank">We Didn't Start The Fire</a><br />
<br />
When Billy Joel wrote this song, we found it really long,<br />
It was way before our time, with a little sense of rhyme,<br />
As we grew we understood, it was stuff that's really good<br />
A History lesson of his time, a long list with little rhyme<br />
<br />
What it really helped us do, was make us believe we can too,<br />
Write a song that's just a list, with the odd rhyme but no twist,<br />
There was one change though, History really had to go,<br />
The topics would only range, from bizarre to very strange <br />
<br />
We didn’t start the spoofing <br />
It was always with us <br />
Since the song had hit us <br />
We didn’t start the spoofing <br />
Oh, we never knew it,<br />
But we want to do it <br />
<br />
Now you can write these lyrics too, here's what you got to do<br />
Make a list of things you know, rhyme along as you go,<br />
The song has an easy tune, that you'll sing from July to June,<br />
Sing it till your lungs go dry, and your tonsils start to cry<br />
<br />
So make a list of things you like, or a list that'll totally psyche, <br />
Politics or pop art, even some marketing fart,<br />
Try to be a little clever, change your subject to whatever,<br />
Or like a bunch of nerds, sing something totally absurd <br />
<br />
We didn’t start the spoofing <br />
It was always with us <br />
Since the song had hit us <br />
We didn’t start the spoofing <br />
Oh, we never knew it,<br />
But we want to do it <br />
<br />
As addictive as meth, spoofing this is done to death,<br />
But it's fun as you can see, and easy as A, B, C,<br />
If the song runs off course, let it not kill your driving force,<br />
Take it till you go wrong, and close it like any silly song<br />
<br />
We didn’t start the spoofing <br />
It was always with us <br />
Since the song had hit us <br />
We didn’t start the spoofing <br />
Oh, we never knew it,<br />
But we want to do it.<br />
</div>
Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3774543733310763244.post-53889386656898384682013-03-04T17:59:00.003-08:002013-03-04T17:59:44.204-08:00Class Photograph by Douglas Dunn<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>We were Elizabethan girls and boys, <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Too young for politics, too old for toys. <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Then Hungary and Suez changed all that, <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Or so it feels in tired old retrospect. <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Nostalgia corrodes the intellect. <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />It makes you want to eat your coat and hat.</i></div>
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<i>One foot in childhood, one in adolescence, <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /><span style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Rock Around the Clock </span>made far more sense <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Even than <span style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">The Battle of the River Plate –</span> <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Stiff upper lips and Royal Navy dash, <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Its Technicolored brio and panache <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Heroic, gore-less, brilliant, out of date.</i></div>
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<i>Like Ovaltineys in their Start-rite shoes – <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />It catches up on you, it really does, <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />This looking back, this old class photograph. <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Be-blazered in our uniforms and ties <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />(<span style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Who he? Who she?</span>) – pensioners in disguise <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />As who they were, a pictured epitaph.</i></div>
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<i>Pillar-boxes still red (though not much else is) <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />And the scarcely visible orthodoxies <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />All still in place, plus global urgency, <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Destructive wars abroad . . . And yet, God bless <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Democracy, dissent, and the NHS <br style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Which underpins our civic decency.</i></div>
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Sudhir Paihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18175346934416808224noreply@blogger.com0