Stopping by words of copy on a Sunday Evening

    Thankfully for the world, Robert Frost was a poet who won as many as four Pulitzer Prizes for turning his observations of rustic life into complex philosophy through poetry. But I wonder what was to become of his poetry if he was stuck in this time, and forced to make a living as a copywriter, and turn his observations from a plethora of reference material like Award journals, newspapers, TV, internet, FB etc. into a simple sales pitch through words. My guess is he may have ended up writing something like this:

Whose words these are I think I know

His campaigns are from across the sea though;

He will never see me stopping here

To read his copy from an old One Show

The security here must think it queer,

To read something from the yesteryear,

In between deadlines on a Sunday night,

Surely the darkest night of the year.

He gives my shoulder a gentle tap,

Wondering if I was having a nap,

Because the only other sound is of the AC

As I was lost in the tome on my lap.

The words in there are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have too many deadlines to keep,   

And many lines to go before I sleep,   

And many lines to go before I sleep.

The Secret Life of Walkesh Mitter, Copywriter.

“And the Terbium Metal Award for outstanding services to the Advertising Industry goes to…”, said Mark Avignon, the last recipient of the honour at the Salzburg International Advertising Awards. For a second, there was complete silence in the 5000-seat Baroque styled Amphitheatre which stood proudly in the world heritage site that was Salzburg. With the silhouette of the Alpine backdrop in sharp contrast to the bright lights of the festival, there couldn’t have been a better venue for such a prestigious award. There was tension in the air, but there was only one man in the crowd who sat with a quiet confidence. In fact, he knew he’d be taking home the award this year the minute he was left out of the jury for the honorary position he’d served since the inception of the Terbium Awards five years back. “The man’s going to win.”, said Jiju Joseph, a senior Indian creative. “And at 29, he’ll be the youngest Terbium winner by a distance”, the veteran declared.  

  

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?” shouted Akash Mehta, a 36-year old Creative Director at AHV Advertising. “Walkesh, you were expected to be at the client’s place now, presenting your campaign. But here you cluelessly sit, without a care in the world. Now we have been given one more chance. And I cannot have you Screw it up again. So get of your fuckin’ arse and GET WORKING!”   

“Huh!”, said Walkesh. He turned to see Akash breathing down his neck over a deadline that was safely missed. Just like several others that happen every other day. “Well…err…there’s an idea that's brewing in my head…”, he whimpered. “YES! I can see how keen you are on seeing the job completed. Can you at least name the project that we are currently discussing? Which has already reached a critical state?”

Walkesh looks helplessly at Somdev - his art partner - hoping to find a clue. But like a student who is desperately guessing to achive a pass mark in his viva voce, the dreamy copywriter mentally scans through his joblist. “I know, I know. It’s regarding the Ebony Shampoo press ad right? I’m working on the headline.”

Akash and Somdev nearly suffer a haemorrhage each on hearing Walkesh’s response. “He was referring to the New Generation School pitch.” said Som, trying to gain a rare brownie point with Akash. “And thank you for reminding us of how late you were on the Ebony Shampoo ad”, clarifies Akash, who was forced to wrap up that blasted press ad the week before when the client threatened to part ways with his agency unless he stepped in.

 “Please join me in welcoming the Creative Tycoon, Walkesh Mitter”, said the pretty emcee, as several young students jumped from their seats to get a closer view of the man who revolutionised the communication industry with his radical concepts in Integrated Marketing and Communications. The applause was deafening. And it only stopped when Walkesh raised his hand deftly, like a virtuoso conductor.

“Well, I thank you all for the kindness that you have showered on me. But in all honesty, I don’t think very greatly of my work.” Murmurs in the crowd, some appreciative of the man’s modesty, others critical of his false-modesty. “You see, I have spent considerable time to further develop those ideas that have given me all the fame and honour. And those very ideas that have brought me to this stage, will be rendered void when I unveil my new set of ideas.” The murmurs grow louder. But Walkesh raises his hands once more. “That, ladies and gentleman, is one of the best learnings I’ve received in the fortunate career I’ve enjoyed. You have to be the best judge of your own work, and irrespective of what the world thinks of your work, you have to find ways of constantly elevating your own work to a higher standard. Even if its original form brings you all the laurels you’ve dreamed of. That, in my opinion, is the essence of a creative career, and more importantly, a creative life.” Another deafening applause follows. Once more, Walkesh raises his hand characteristically.

“ Yes, Mr. Mitter. You seem to be a little too keen on offering your views on the recruitment scene in the Banking industry during the economic slowdown?” said Amit Joshi, who headed the HR of Global Bank of India. Walkesh looks at all the amused faces of the client, Akash and Som around him, much like a man who suddenly fell into the room when the roof gave away. “ Well…Sir, I was just hoping you’d help us summarise the problem we were discussing…” A few frustrated heaves follow. Walkesh’s colleagues seem a little concerned with his request. Joshi on the other hand is adamant. “So Mitter, which part of our hour-long discussion didn’t you follow?” In what was perhaps the greatest act of collective Harakiri in the corporate world, Akash jumps to the rescue. “Amit! Let me reiterate. As the agency, it is your belief that our creative team should have been a little more specific with the last recruitment ad for the Managing Director of GBI.”

The half balding client nearly pulled apart his modest mane on hearing a half-baked justification from the Creative Director. Mockingly making air quotes, Amit retorts, “I think calling it a little more specific is putting it a little too mildly. How do you explain a recruitment ad for a Managing Director without ever mentioning the words “Managing Director” even a single time in the ad? And whats worse, your great writer has the nerve to ask me to summarise this for him!! Are we wasting our marketing budget on retards like Mr Mitter here? Mr. Mehta, I'll refuse to pay for this ad. And I demand a fresh ad immediately.”

After being shown the door after much agony, the Creative Director finally exhausts his emotional reserves and gives Walkesh a whack on his head. “This is the last time I’ll ever try to defend you. I thought I saw your worst this morning, but your incompetence can take you far lower than I can ever imagine. Here, let me pat your back once more,” said Akash sarcastically, before taking out his anger on Walkesh’s back.

“They have no idea about my abilities”, thought Walkesh as he returned to office. “I’ll make them regret their words when they finally see what conspires in the great mind of Walkesh Mitter. Now what was this great brief about?" said Mitter, more as a reminder to himself than anything else.

“Rarely, have we the luxury of recognising the efforts of a man so overqualified to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Let us take a moment to remember the great contributions of Walkesh Mitter. Communications pioneer. Writer par excellence. And a fine human being.” Said a septuagenarian in a dour tone, as a one minute biopic highlighted the accomplishments of Walkesh Mitter. As the film comes to an end, the audience start clapping respectively and give a white-haired Walkesh a standing ovation. As he receives the trophy, Walkesh patiently waits for the audience to stop clapping before he begins, “It has been my belief that Man can achieve a great many things if he is only given his right to dream. And I have only committed myself to fight for this cause. Because nothing in god’s world should stop a man from his right to dream?” He then lifts his prize aloft as the audience start applauding.

“DAY DREAMING AGAIN, YOU IDIOT?” Shouts Akash, as Walkesh drops the pen he was holding high up in the air.    

Be Stupid

My first impression of this campaign was that it was trying really hard to be different. But then I came across their motto -

" Like balloons, we are filled with hopes and dreams. But over time a single sentence creeps into our lives. Don’t be stupid. It’s the crusher of possibility. It’s the worlds greatest deflater. The world is full of smart people. Doing all kind of smart things… Thats smart.

Well, we’re with stupid. Stupid is the relentless pursuit of a regret free life. Smart may have the brains…but stupid has the balls. The smart might recognize things for how they are. The stupid see things for how they could be. Smart critiques. Stupid creates. The fact is if we didn't have stupid thoughts, we'd have no interesting thoughts at all. Smart may have the plans…but stupid has the stories.
Smart may have the authority but stupid has one hell of a hangover. It's not smart to take risks…It's stupid.

To be stupid is to be brave. The stupid isn't afraid to fail. The stupid know there are worse things than failure…like not even trying.

Smart had one good idea, and that idea was stupid. You can’t outsmart stupid. So don’t even try. Remember only stupid can be truly brilliant."

Must admit. I'm actually inspired to do something stupid.

A Friday in the life of a Copywriter

1.Park yourself on your comfortable chair, in front of your system

2.Read a magazine or a book lying on your inspiring work-desk(the more untidy the table, the better)

3.Log into gtalk, facebook, twitter, youtube, wikipedia, cricinfo, stumbleupon, and the rest

4.Carefully go through all your mailing lists, forwards and the works

5.Sign into your office id, go through your joblist

6.Attend the first briefing session of the day, completely geared up with clip board, paper and pen

7.End the session with, “we’ll get back to you after we’ve thoroughly understood the problem.”

8.Get back to your browsing. Bookmark or note down all the interesting stuff

9.Sit with your creative partner (Art Directors and Copywriters)

10.Discuss the movie you watched last night

11.Decide to discuss the brief over a game of pool or PS2

12.Discuss a great new ad that you watched on youtube

13.Decide to discuss this brief over a cup of coffee

14.Discuss our collective social lives, or the lack of it

15.Decide to discuss the brief in an isolated room (conference room for instance)

16.Discuss your personal lives, and try to figure how different it is from your professional ones

17.Decide to carry on this discussion over lunch

18.Discuss your love lives in brief, or most likely your brief but futile attempts of having one

19.Decide to carry on this discussion over a smoke

20.Discuss the new bar in town, and how you should head there to celebrate a great idea

21.Decide to shoot yourselves in the foot by asking the Creative Director for more time, but put all your feet in your respective mouths instead

22.Decide to work more seriously, and sit with a pile of advertising books

23.Decide to work separately, and start chatting online with greater intensity

24.Read the brief again carefully, and call the Account Executive

25.Give him/her an earful for a brief that had as interesting as the life-cycle of a goldfish

26.Stare at the wall and ceiling, looking for ideas

27.Carefully read some of the product’s technical manual, with a hope of finding ideas

28.Peruse a telephone directory, searching for ideas

29.Read the latest Chacha Choudary, for some inspiration to get the brain cells to work like a 486

30.Draw a few scribbles, write a few lines and go have a look at the Art Director’s progress

31.After shrugging shoulders and patting backs, get back to the system

32.Indulge in favourite creative exercise, coming up with a new FB status message

33.After success in step 32, indulge some more and write a new blog entry

34.Oh Hell, what do you know? It’s dinner time already. So go to the new bar in town to mourn the loss of another Friday night

35.Get back to work

36.Have a serious meeting at 12:30 am, where it is decided that you sleep over the brief

37.Update joblist, and head back home

38.Come to office at 11 am, Saturday morning

39. Repeat step 2-5

40.Encounter the Accounts Executive and remind him that, unlike his job, the creative job is not a postman’s job. Delivery times need more flexibility

41.Repeat step 8-16

42.Finally come up with an idea when repeating step 17

43.Build on the idea while performing step 18-20

44.Head back to the system with new found confidence, and start playing Mafia Wars

45.Write down some copy while revisiting the previous days crossword

46.Sit with Art Director and look for references, while repeating 12-13

47.Art Director works on the layout while you write copy

48.It’s time for dinner, and this time you decide to celebrate a good idea (which may possibly get shot down by your CD, his client, or even his grandmother) with a drink. If you’ve come from Step 51, then it's probably late, so settle for the Pepsi in your office fridge

49. 11pm on a Saturday night, sigh! Get back to business

50. Go back to step 47

51. It's 2 am. Art director gets a new idea. You get excited. Go back to step 46

52. It’s possibly 5 am Sunday morning. You decide to sleep over the brief, but this time, literally

53. 9am, you wake up wondering what just hit you? It’s the Art director who’s finally done. Decide to head back home to enjoy whatever is left of the weekend. And pray that next friday, you can simply perform step 1-5 and end the day with step 37. High Hopes!

Remember those great Volkswagen ads?

Surely you do. If you're in advertising or if you're an auto enthusiast. And if nothing else, you are old enough to have seen Dick Cheney with all his hair.

In the days when Sports Entertainment was no more than an hour of physical activity, and reality TV was a distant reality, people spoke of advertising. And they certainly spoke of Volkswagen ads.

That's because the Volkswagen and its advertising enjoyed a successful marriage. If you looking for evidence to verify the success of the marriage, see how every flaw of the car was spoken in such an affectionate tone, thus endearing the Beetle to the whole generation that was lost in space.

The honesty of the car was articulated through smart, honest advertising. It would have been a pity if such a successful marriage was without a family album. Hence the book.

And like any album worth its nostalgia, it's bound to elicit a few chuckles.

This book is a must buy for people who believe in the power of advertising, and those who believe in the power of their dreams. Afterall, don't we all like the fairy tale of the ugly ducking within us becoming a pin-up boy?

Ad-vocate

If there was one thing i dearly missed in my soujourn in manipal, it was the television. One month of domesticated life however has convinced me otherwise. I somehow lack the patience to sit and watch anything on television. Just when it starts to interest me there is a commercial break. And what irks me even more is the quality of ads that are aired. Here are a couple of ads that i believe should not be aired. It could be hazardous to the advertising industry ! These ads could possibly drive away some prospective ad film directors or copywriters to other more lucrative careers or let young creative impressionable minds overlook advertising as a satisfying career.
Firstly theres this undergarments ad that features a physically challenged kid who decides to participate in a race competing with other kids. Once the race starts the kid loses his crutches and falls down. The helpless kid summons daddy dearest. I'd imagined some comic book hero who appears wearing his underwear on the outside. After all, it is an undergarments ad. But hey! who is this? is it a man? is it superman...no its Salman khan! And the buck "or shall i say black buck" does'nt stop here. For some godforsaken reason he rips his shirt off, picks up the kid and starts running,eventually diving at the finish line a-la-rhodes and emerging the winner. humm! the mere fact that i cannot recall the name of the brand seems to defeat the purpose of making the ad.besides i have committed it to mind for its preposterity. Are these ad makers underestimating the intelligence of its consumers?
there is another brand which features ads which are high on pot. one of these harpic type brands which needs to exhibit a pot-pourri of toilets that do not use the product. and suddenly a salesman from the company turns harry potter and uses this magic potion which turns the toilet sparkling white! tasteless to say the least!
now there used to be these itch guard ads which were very disgusting. these ad makers seem to have come of age by shedding the " an itch in time saves nine" paradigm. these guys literally started from scratch and what materialised is an ad thats very subtle but effective. the harpic ad makers better take a good look lest their ads are flushed out of television!