IPL's Shitty Moments of Success

Good Evening, Hyderabad! Are you ready for a Standard Fireworks Sivakasi cracker of a game awaiting you at the Paradise Biryani International Stadium?

At the toss, captain Sanga called Pantene Silky & Shiny heads and it was the Pepsi Right Choice, Baby! He has elected to have a Puma Cricket Gear bat.

At this point of time, all three T.I.M.E Classes 100% Results are possible.

It's important for Royal Challenge Bottle Openers to give the Lodha's home team a Cadburys Shubh Aarambh start to the innings.

All the viewers are Sonata Watching the game thanks to the kind Sahara Group support from our
 Kisna Diamond sponsor Pepsi, our Malabar Gold sponsor Vodafone, and our Yes Bank group of local businesses who agreed to our terms of sponsorship with an affirmative.

A Lays Magic Masala crisp shot to the covers takes the home team to score of 45 for BSE All Profit No Loss. 

The Ghajini Replay clearly tells us the batsman's time at the crease is 7 UP.

The batting seems to be running out of Appy Fizz., and they'll need some Servo Premium fuel to go the Xtra Mile.

After the fall of four Star Plus Kamzor Kadi Kaun wickets, the lower middle order is left to lay a Hathi Cement foundation for final over Channel V Big Hits.

There is no margin for Microsoft Windows error and the bowlers have to maintain their Natraj Geometry Box line and length.

Taking quick Shaadi.com singles is the the Link Locks key to T20 success.

When you take wickets regularly, half your XBOX Halo battle is won.

That's Pulla Reddy Sweetly timed, but it finds the Godrej Safe hands of the man at Ohri's Nautanki Gully.

The American Express Travelers Check bounce seems to have added some Priya Pickle spice to this game.

Lets not take away anything from the bowling side who have put in an Dr Batra's clinical performance and exploited the opposition's Apollo Hospitals injury problems.

The Spice Jet visitors are preparing for what could be a Royal Stag high-spirited chase.

The ball was Mahindra Logan extra-wide, and it was deposited for a Yes Bank Maximum.

The bowler now Fedex delivers a slower ball, which the batsman Gillette Mach 3 edges to the Victoria's Secret first slip.

The game is going down the Havell's wire. Both teams deserve to Play Lotto win.

The Asics long hop was dispatched with the Venky's meat of the bat for a certain boundary. What a Nerolac finish!

At the end of the day, EA Sports Cricket 13 was the winner. This was indeed a great advertisement for the game.




  

Mad Men India

A briefing at Sterling Cooper India

Drona Dhopeshwar(Creative Director): (banging the table) Our planners believe there is a paradigm shift in the market.

Pankti Oswal(Copywriter): (lighting a lights cigarette and then taking a deep drag)Isn't it what we were told last briefing. What's with the paradigm?? No permanent address, aa?? Te he!

Drona: (sipping on chai with a contemplative look)Po da!

Sarvanan Ramanuj(Art Director): (legs resting on the table) Chee! Thoo! You cant freelance as a bulk SMS forward sender with jokes like this!

Drona: Anyways, what I've done is asked Servicing to discuss it with Client and work on a new brief.

Sarvanan: Accha! Jaddi sileney gaye hai! Ha ha ha ha ha

Drona: Eh?

Pankti: What Sar meant was Chaddi! So how do you suggest we work on a new campaign? We know the brief is not going to change!

Drona: Good call, punk. The brief may not change, but circumstances have. We cant get away with having cricketers as brand ambassadors anymore. And yet we have the IPL, which our clients believe will help viewers forget the trauma of having to wake up every morning last winter, only to watch India lose every game in Australia.

Sarvanan: Maybe there is a moral here. Maybe we should go back to film stars as brand ambassadors. What about Rajni?

Drona: (banging the table) I think we've got something there. If we endorse Rajni, the results of the cricket match dont matter anyway.

Pankti: And what's more, we have enough of Rajni jokes to work with for a month long campaign.

Sarvanan: Eggsactly! Lets first publish a set of visiting cards, and mail it to people.

Pankti: Okay?

Sarvanan: Dont you get it? Rajni wont give you visiting cards. His cards will visit you. Ha ha ha ha!

Pank: Oh my gawd!! Ha ha ha ha!

Drona: ha ha ha! And then, his card should only say "I'll call you" and have his name on it. What say?

Sar: ha ha ha ha!

Pankti: Ha ha ha ha!

Drona: Ha ha ha ha!

(Three hours later)

Pankti: I think this calls for a party. What a day!

Sarvanan: Yes! It's time to visit some old monks. In the name of Rajni!

Pankti: Man, Rajni is the life of a party, even when he doesn't attend it? Ha ha ha

Drona & Sarvanan: ha ha ha ha

And the three creatives live happily ever after. At a local bar. Till the next briefing.

Disclaimer: The above actions should not be imitated at work.

Mr. Teavee is such an idiot

Found this awesome piece of verse from Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.