Battle of the Sexes

It is very unlike me to write on subjects that may hover on controversy. My diplomatic skills get the better of me and I smile incommunicado. However, I was requested to work on a debate last evening.In the opinion of the house, "women are stronger than men". I was requested to write on behalf of my mother, who favoured the motion. It'd had been 3-4 years since I'd scripted a debate for a friend, so I had my reservations on writing one. It's really not my cup of tea. But then as a male, speaking in favour of this subject on behalf of a woman would challenge my being, and also my imagination. So the mama's boy obliged. Here's what emerged an hour later:

" Have you had a peek at the latest issue of Maxim? You discover that Men's magazines are filled with pictures of pretty women. A women's magazine like Cosmopolitan also feature pictures of pretty ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, which is best appreciated by men with Beer-bellies. That only goes to show the extent of influence that women have on men.

While it is a known fact that men are indeed physically stronger, a woman’s Intelligence Quotient(IQ) and her Emotional Quotient(EQ) can never be understated. How “intelligently” do we subjugate even the most muscular of men with our “emotions” and bring them down to their knees. A man initially encounters this situation, literally at the time of courtship, when he woos a lady for marriage. More often than not it’s masterminded by a woman, and after that a man is inducted into a vicious cycle of marriage. It is observed that a woman’s tears can sometimes make a man cry for mercy!

Men usually have little idea about enhancing their own looks. They are mostly incapable of looking their best without women. Jewellery for example is tastefully employed by women to look beautiful. Men can also capable of trying to experiment with Jewellery, but more often than not they'd end up looking like Bappi Lahiri.

There is little doubt about the fact that women are emotionally stronger. We definitely drain out a lot of our emotional repository in admitting we are wrong. However, even the most powerful man on earth, Mr. George Bush fails in this department.

Women are very good at attaching and detaching themselves emotionally and are not hung-up on any object of desire. Little girls are very fond of playing with their barbies, but get over it in their teens in order to pursue their career and everything else that follows like marriage, family, children, children’s marriage, retirement plans, medical bills etc. Boys seem to be better with their objects of desire. They enjoy a smooth transition from GI Joes in their teens to Bikes in their tweens, to iPods in their 20s to Playstations in their 30s to Blackberrys in their 40s and Titanium Credit Cards in their 50s. And if they are lucky, a woman or two, interspersed over the years.

Well, I haven’t even spoken of relationships. We women seek immense strength from our relationships. And emerge even stronger when we are out of one. All hell breaks loose initially but two months later, we’d be more than glad to moderate a “Battle of the Ex-es”. But how do the menfolk handle the same? While being in a relationship, their significant other assumes as much importance as Gym every evening, the Friday night binge with the boys, Saturday night game on TV, the laundry on Sunday afternoon, the Sunday night game on TV, the Monday morning presentation and the works. They also seem to be highly articulate in discussing their relationship over a few drinks with their buddies, “Oh! You know Deepa and I have a thing going, right?”. However, they seem to have a tougher time letting it go. Typically, three months after a break-up, he’d call and say, “ Oh! I’m so miserable without you in my life anymore. Can’t we give it another chance?”

Men always fancy being in the throes of power be it in their jobs or politics or even in a Rotary club. But for all the power they wield, they do have a “weakness” that can either bring out the best in them or lead them to their doom- women. History has enough of evidence to support the same, be it Helen of Troy in Greece or the women in Mahabharata or Ramayana closer home.

The problem here is more of perspective or may be the lack of it. History has taught us the primordially, man has been the hunter while a woman, the home-maker. For the roles to change, it’s more of a personal choice and history or evolution need not necessarily be credited or blamed. When the house fails to view the big picture, the members will gladly chew their “coffee bite” on subjects like “Woman is stronger than man”. Tch tch! The arguement continues...

Yours truly,
Mrs. D. Bates
"

Animal Instincts

Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Animal Instincts

Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Animal Instincts

Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Animal Instincts

Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

What do you think of me?

Well, I could never elicit a response to the above question. So I thought I'd shift my imagination to the top gear and try and figure out how people spoke of me in college. I'll try and list them down in a chronological order. Do keep the caveat in mind that any resemblance to real-life incidents is purely intensional.

1. Girl 1: Hey! Here is a side-splitting intro. This chap is from my class. I'd never noticed him till today, after one whole semester. And he says, "Hi! I'm Sudhir Pai, Roll no.271" and smiles gleefully. Ha ha ha!

2. Guy 1: This dude's wierd man, his favourite pastime seems to lying on his bed and gazing at the ceiling in contemplation. That's till he forces himself to fall asleep.

3. Guy 2: Just check out this guy who walks with a limp. Hyuk hyuk! I can see his legs cry for mercy when tries playing basketball.

4. Guy 3: The intensity which which he stares at something below the bench in class gives you the impression he's still coming to terms with his manhood. But then out comes Ayn Rands "Fountainhead" at the end of the period.

5. Girl 2: "I never worry. I wouldn't want to exhaust my emotional reserves on something so trivial" he says. Psycho!

6. Guy 1: Dont even bother asking him if he's joining us for dinner. He's busy, daydreaming

7. Junior Boy 1: Why didn't you tell them you know Sudhir Pai. They wouldn't have ragged you. He's the secretary of the Society of Personality Development

Junior Boy 2: Society of Personality Development? Is he a gym instructor?

8. Guy 2: Can he stoop any lower? He's now directing a play with the first years. And he wouldn't even have the numbers of the first year chicks, which is besides the point. And he expects to compete with people of his age with a bunch of first-year kids.

9. Guy 4: ha ha ha! this chap says he's from the Literary and Debating club, which is neither Literary nor has any debating.

10. Junior Boy 1: Pai's team has won three quizzes on the trot. we'll beat them the next time, I think I have a measure of him.

11. Girl 3: There he is with that woman discussing books again. Doesn't she find him intimidating? He's the kind who probably thinks the rest of us are dumb!

12. Guy 5: Oh Boy! He's an associate editor? really?? Of all the exceptionally brilliant guys from our batch, they found him as the most suitable candidate?

13. Girl 4: Oh the guy does an Sania Mirza imitation in Mock Press today. when asked about the balls bouncing he says " For the bounce, it's not the surface that matters. It's all about how you stroke the balls" ha ha! naughty boy! And the others couldn't match up to his wit and spontaneity. So we simply declared him non-competitive. He he! That'll give the others some chance!

14. Guy 6: Pai says he wants to get into advertising. Ha ha! He sure has some imagination!

15. Girl 3: The guy does a bhangra for an ozzy osbourne track and Jives for a hindi movie track. Crazy!

16. Guy 3: The guy runs a Comic strip online. I see where he gets his inspiration from. His Life!! har har! what a cartoon!

17. Girl 4: Now Pai runs a blog where declares the world is full of pseudo- intellectuals like him. And he even knows all his readers personally. Some 10 vela people just like him. Hey Bhagwan!

Animal Instincts

Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!