The Orkut Song

This song is dedicated to all the despo "Orkuttans" who can never get enough of all the "Orkutties" around. One truly needs to understand the psyche of vela Orkuttans who spend all day on orkut, surfing across seas of ennui, in pursuit of "Making Frend-Ship", a ship of Titanic proportions, which would take them to newer destinations and grant them access to more "orkutty" profiles. Even if all the orkutty profiles sport a Katrina Kaif pic, the thrills that comes with "Making Frndship" with one is nothing short of making love to the bollywood diva herself. Here's what an orkuttan would sing after finding some success at making frndship.
PS: sung in the tune of the titanic song...

Every time in my scrapbook
I see you. I scrap you.
That is how I know you go on.
Far across my scrapbook
And testimonials between us
You have come to show your, as “single”.
Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that we'll make frndship go on
Once more you logged on
And you're here in my scrap book
And my friends list will go on and on
Testimonials can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're friends
Love was when I saw your userpic
One true time I hold to
In my life I’ll surely be your fan
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that we'll make frendship go on
Once more you logged on
And you're here in my scrap book
And my friends list will go on and on

You're here, there's so much I fear,
And I know that you will know I checked you out
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my friends list
And my friends list will go on....

PS: This may not rhyme, but this is the true!
:D *the orbit white smiley*

Rajni can't? Of course he can!

So do you really know Rajnikant? read on...

1. Rajni keeps himself entertained out of concern for the public. If he gets bored, he'd yawn and the last time he yawned, it caused a tsunami.

2. Legend has it that Rajni was once a certainty in the Indian cricket team. As a bowler, Rajni usually needed 10 deliveries to finish the game. Owing to monotony, he retired from cricket as a 12 year old.

3. Tamil Nadu was dry one summer. Poor monsoons had resulted in a drought. But then this was only until Rajni sneezed! Bless him!

4. Wachowski brothers approached Rajni for "The Matrix". But Rajni was looking for more action.

5. In his younger days, Rajni ran the 100 mts in 6.7 seconds. He decided to participate in the Olympics only after another athelete broke the 7 second mark.

Well wait, Picture abhi baaki hai...

Here is an interesting new story.

Rajinikanth was bragging to Jayalalitha one day, "I know everyone there is to know.
Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, Jayalalitha called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said.

So Rajini and Jayalalitha fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts"Wassup! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!".

Although impressed, Jayalalitha is still skeptical.

After they leave Cruise's house, she tells Rajini that she thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No no, just name anyone else" Rajini says.
"President Bush", Jayalalitha quickly retorts.

"Yes", Rajini says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington".
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Rajini on the tour and motions him , saying,"Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up".

Well, Jayalalitha is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.After they leave the White House grounds, he implores her to name anyone else.

"The Pope," Jayalalitha replies.

"Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Germany and I've known the Pope a long time".
So off they fly to Rome. Rajini and Jayalalitha are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people.Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony..
But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Jayalalitha had a Heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.Working his way to Jayalalitha's side, Rajini asks her, "What happened?" Jayalalitha looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said,
'Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?' "

So dear folks, if you ever get the pleasure of serving Rajni a cup of coffee, see to it that it is clear of any seeds. Grind it!
And if you know of any other urban legends about Rajni, then post a comment here. Find It!

But always remember, never say never when you talk of Rajni(oops! I've used "never" twice in this sentence). Mind It!

Do check this out

For better or for Verse

The rains are here, and I make a serendipitous discovery. I find two friends who actually love the very same poems I dig. That does make for an interesting conversation with the monsoon and the flowers contributing to the ambience, does it not? [:)]

Anyway to build on this conversation, I'll put down some poetry here. This one by Harold Monroe ( I was given to believe it was Mrs. Elizabeth Barrett Browning till sometime back, but I stand corrected) is high on sentimental value. In school, I was forced to participate in an elocution, so I actually read out these verses on stage. It was quite a challenge, conquering both my stage fright and my hatred for cats. Here it goes

Milk for the Cat
by Harold Monroe

When the tea is brought at five o'clock,
And all the neat curtains are drawn with care,
The little black cat with bright green eyes
Is suddenly purring there.

At first she pretends, having nothing to do,
She has come in merely to blink by the grate,
But, though tea may be late or the milk may be sour,
She is never late.

And presently her agate eyes
Take a soft large milky haze,
And her independent casual glance
Becomes a stiff, hard gaze.

Then she stamps her claws or lifts her ears,
Or twists her tail and begins to stir,
Till suddenly all her lithe body becomes
One breathing, trembling purr.

The children eat and wriggle and laugh;
The two old ladies stroke their silk:
But the cat is grown small and thin with desire,
Transformed to a creeping lust for milk.

The white saucer like some full moon descends
At last from the clouds of the table above;
She sighs and dreams and thrills and glows,
Transfigured with love.

She nestles over the shining rim,
Buries her chin in the creamy sea;
Her tail hangs loose; each drowsy paw
Is doubled under each bending knee.

A long, dim ecstasy holds her life;
Her world is an infinite shapeless white,
Till her tongue has curled the last holy drop,
Then she sinks back into the night,

Draws and dips her body to heap
Her sleepy nerves in the great arm-chair,
Lies defeated and buried deep
Three or four hours unconscious there.

Gotham Knight

Before I begin, I'm still to watch the "Dark Knight". This is because I wanted to watch the mid-quel (for the lack of a better word!) titled the Gotham Knight. If you still wondering what this is all about,Batman: Gotham Knight, a new animated feature from Warner Premiere, is a collection of six separate-but-interlocking stories, each looking at a different aspect of the character. The segments have been created by visionary anime directors and acclaimed screenwriters including David S. Goyer (Batman Begins), Alan Burnett ("Batman: The Animated Series"), and Oscar-nominee Josh Olson (A History of Violence).

The first short film explores how Batman means different things to different people through the narratives of a bunch of teenagers. Is he a shadowy figure? Is he a mutant? Is he a robot? It totally heightens the enigma that is Batman by capturing different perceptions in Gotham.

The second short film exposes the thin line that lies between being a crime fighter and vigilante. This features the experiences of detective who's frustrated of being relegated to errands like taking the arrested felons to prison after they've been "delivered" to the headquarters by Batman.

While this animated feature,released earlier this month, was purely done as a promotional venture, it is good enough to pass off as a movies by itself. It never really disappoints you as some of the earlier batman flicks did. After a slow start, things quickly pick up, combining a strong sense of visual energy with an interesting meditation on Batman's motivation and development.

The anime style may upset a few fans, the art work is an absolute animated renaissance. The artists' impression of Gotham is very reminiscent of Nolan's Gotham in Batman Begins. Thankfully for those die-hard fans who will pick up this DVD, the work done by the directors and producers on this animated feature is far more than just a trailer to the Dark Knight.

No strings attached!

So when was the last time you felt like buying an acoustic guitar and learn how to play? Was it when you heard Tears in Heaven for the first time? This is a global phenomenon and capitalising on this urge that music fans have everytime they hear a good acoustic number is Now Play It.

Launched last year, Now Play It aims to get people as close to the artists and songs they love as possible. To do that, it offers downloadable video tutorials on the art and craft of playing hundreds of different songs on guitar, bass, piano or drums, many of them led by the artists who wrote or perform them. Paul McCartney among the artists currently offering instruction on the site, and users can search for tutorials by artist, song, instrument, difficulty level or tutor.

Being taught by a well-known artist, even if by video, is certainly going to give a user a healthy helping of experiences to narrate. So when will your guitar gently weep?

Animal Instincts

Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Fast Forward: Shalom! Bong! Thank you maam!

Bongs are my favourite bunch of people. even if they're from delhi and if they have me believe that the country's capital is CR Park. This is because only a bong could write something of the sort.

The ABC Of Bengalis

A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakattan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the ' Bhest Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.


C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.'


D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.


E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.


F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'


G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, etc.


H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!


I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!


J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second


K is for Kee Kaando !. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).


L is for Lungi - the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt. Everest.


M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.


N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!


O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)


P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.



Q is for Queen.


R is for Robi Thakur. Many nany years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees' ! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second !


S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by doing a little bit of 'joggo' and 'maanot'.


T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.


U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.


V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.


W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!


X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.


Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali.

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone.