Movie Reviews

Oh boy! Reviewing movies is fun. And we learnt a couple of lessons too. Here they are:

1. A "bad-movie" review need not necessarily be a bad "movie-review". Check this out.

2. A director may remain strictly loyal to the book or the graphic novel, but then he'll still fail to please both the author and the reviewer. Check this out.

Goodbye

Why feel the pain,
Why weep in vain,

Why wipe a tear,
For one so dear,
Why the eternal rest,
For the very best,

Why feel the pain,
Why weep in vain,

Why the fading night,
Why the blurred sight,
Why write a song,
Only to say, ‘So Long!’

Why feel the pain,
Why weep in vain,

Why the regret,
Why did I forget,
To call and say “Hi!”,
And now,
it's only a goodbye!

Goodbye World!

Msg 2: Annanya
Hey! We haven't met in two days! That's an eternity in our final semester. What's up?

I smile. Man! Final semester at college was unbelievable. Oh there are some more from the final sem...

Msg 3: Annanya
Accept the technological advances of short messaging services. MSG ME!

ha ha ha! Ann was so sweet. And sarcastic. I cannot imagine how she had so much of time, watching my back, while being in a relationship with Keith? And if that wasn't enough, cooking for us, and working on her thesis. In that order! If I am in a position to understand women now, even remotely, it's all thanks to adorable Ann. Wonder Woman! If I do ever get married, my wife will need a discourse from Ann, cuz no other woman understood me better than Ann. Wonder Woman, indeed!

Msg 6: Janisha
It was so good talking to you today. I missed the coffee and conversations, the long walks and laughs. God! I dont know why I was so unfair to you. I guess growing up helps!And then, you only miss someone when he's not around! ;)
Hugs!


Oh Jenny! Well, the funny thing is I would be mad at her one minute, and we'd be in each others arms the next. Hummm...I cant help but wonder! Everybody in class thought Jenny and I were dating. And I was sucker for it too. How embarrassing! Man, I shouldn't have asked her out. "I thought we were only friends", she said. "Pal, I want you to understand this. I don't wanna lose you as a friend", she said. And then things were never the same. Oh wait! It got worse! We were hardly talking. Till Feb '05, the day I got this msg. And then, things just kept getting better. He he! I guess if we were dating then, I probably wouldn't be reading this msg now. Who reads msgs from an ex three years after you've broken up?

Msg 9: Bharat

Dude!There were things on my mind, which I couldn't really explain. Thought it prudent to leave cuz I didn't wanna say anything that I'd later regret saying. Hope no offences were taken, Pal!

Brett! The dude was wierd! Keith and I wondered if Brett had his periods that day! He he! Look at the number of words he filled his msg with. All this, just to say sorry! "Prudent", it seems! Wait, I gotta look that up on the dictionary. ha ha! Oh I digress. He didn't need to apologise. He had issues with Nishi then. And today he calls and says, he's gonna be marrying Nishi. He he! I really missed out on this story. I wonder what all these two went through after college. Anyway, how could I be mad at this dude? He was definitely entitled to his idiosyncrasies. He he! Cant imagine two engineering blokes writing plays and acting, the way we did. We're never really meant to do engineering! he he! And the guy really offered his case! he he! Silly case-taking or pun-upmanship! ha ha ha! Oh and the women we kept talking abt...all the time! Somehow, he ended up being agony uncle when I was falling madly in and out of love. he he he! And the times he and keith carried me back to my room when I was completely plastered! ha ha ha! Priceless stuff!


Msg 11: Keith
Palak! Dude! Sorry for being a major pain in the proctologist's major, man! LOL! I had to gate crash when you were getting cozy with Jenny. I just needed a hand with my luggage. So are you guys finally datin? LMAO! Well, you've waited 4 years, so dont get too naughty man! Always remember, bros over...you know who? Rock n Roll rules! Peace!

That was his goodbye msg! How the f@#* were we room-mates for 4 years? How did he even manage to impress Ann? Ha ha ha! The guy was surely funny! That's an understatement. He was a live-wire man! He seemed to be wasting his time with Brett and I, not to mention Ann, but he simply aced all his exams. What a stud! The guy had a geek like me for a room-mate and he let me be. He'd always get mothered for being a phoney by Ann, and he's let her be.Brett would screw his happiness for all his diplomatic stands, and it wouldn't bother Kieth one bit! Now I realise it, the guy had a fantastic attitude! He lived for the moment. Whatever he did, he'd give it his best! I guess it takes Superman to sweep Wonder Woman off her feet!

I wonder what these guys are upto. It's been three years. Even though Keith said, "Long-distance sucks, man! All talk and no sex!", Ann and he are still together. Brett is a classic example of corporate sobriety after an the exuberance of youth, choosing to become a husband even before marriage. He he! Jenny's doing her PHD in NY city. And she still writes to me. About all the men in her life. He he! Ann once called me an emotional coolie. Cuz I seemed to handle all of Jenny's extra baggage very well. Ha ha ha! But Jenny still calls, and asks me about what I'm upto. Very often. It's a pity I have very little to talk about. And every time I wanted to call, I wondered what it was that I should be talking about. Hummm! "Dont you think it's a good idea to stay in touch?" said Keith, the last time he called. It's a great idea dude! And I think it's a great time to call!

Palak reads each of these text messages again. And once more. And then one last time. Overwhelmed with nostalgia, he deletes each of them. Lights a cigarette and looks away. Thinks of Brett and Keith, his pillars of support. Of Ann, who was easily his best friend ever. Of Jenny, who meant the world to him then. And probably still does, after all that they'd been through! He shuts his eyes. His college days are running through his head, like a film reel in fast-forward mode. He had such awesome people for a cast. And his life didn't even need any direction! He opens his eyes.Stubs his cigarette and turns around. He finds his 3310 dying. And a virgin iPhone next to it, waiting to be unlocked. It's time to make few calls!

If Tata build a port at Dhamra

20/20 vision: The future is here! Again...

T20 time again. IPL in South Africa followed by the T20 World Cup in England. I'd tried my hand at being a super selector for the 2007 edition, and I must say, my selections were fairly accurate. I'm trying my hand at it once more. Here goes.

MS Dhoni (Capt.)
Virendra Sehwag
Gautam Gambhir
Suresh Raina
Yuvraj Singh
Rohit Sharma
Cheteshwar Pujara
Wriddiman Saha
Yousuf Pathan
Irfan Pathan
Ravindra Jadeja
Harbhajan Singh
RP Singh
MS Gony
Praveen Kumar

Well as a selector, I decided to give Zaheer, Ishant and Munaf a rest. I picked this team based on performances in IPL 2008 and it is subject to change after IPL 2009.

I am a rock

Just got tagged by Perf & Shitty. And boy! It was fun!

Instructions read: Using only song *titles* from one artist, cleverly answer these questions

Pick a band/artist: Simon & Garfunkel

1. Are you a male or female: Most peculiar man

2. Describe yourself: I’m a rock

3. How do you feel about yourself: feeling groovy

4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: old friends

5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Bridge over troubled waters

6. Describe your current location: Can't help but wonder where I'm bound

7. Describe where you want to be: America

9. Your favorite color is: Hazy shade of winter

10. You know that: We've got a groovy thing goin

11. What’s the weather like: cloudy

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: bookends

13. What is life to you: Dangling Conversation

14. What is the best advice you have to give: I wish I weren't in love

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Richard Corey

Ok, I tag Sam, Kida, Jayshree, Priyanka Pai and Kiddo.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

What if you were born in an old–age home? If you go through your wheelchair days when you are 5, bed-pan days when you are seven, BP and Sugar tests when you are 9, only to be gifted a huge fixed deposit when you are 13, earning a golden watch on your first day at work, start with huge pay checks and bonuses without mortgages in the early years of your career, which also get you your Porsches, and your French villas, that will help you get over your mid-life crisis and stressful career, so that you keep getting fitter and sexier, and this happens until you reach the age of 58. After which you retire to go to college, where you party like there is no tomorrow, where your only worries are pimples and acne, and learn to enjoy life by living for today, blowing up your non-taxable stipend from your job at McDonalds on your dates and weekend raves. Not to mention extracurricular activities in school, your brushes with crushes, homework that keeps getting simpler with advancing years, after which your stints at school get shorter, where you reminisce your struggle of your early years by playing with Barbie dolls and Hot Wheels, after which your skin and hair gets softer, and you become cuter by the hour, all this to end up in one hell of an Orgasm!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is the above paragraph stretched over three hours. And yes, it is a little too laboriously long in the earlier half of the protagonist’s life

My name is Benjamin Button, and I was born under unusual circumstances. While everyone else was aging, I was gettin' younger... all alone.

Loosely based on an F Scott Fitzgerald short story, it’s a tale armed with a concept that could titillate the senses of the most demanding of movie critics. The possibilities of exploring the world through the eyes of an 80-year-old Brad Pitt getting younger everyday seemed immense. Our hero is born as a tiny, shrivelled fossil and then seems to defy chronology. Incredible adventures follow: a spell on a tugboat, wartime peril, voyages that transcended much geography, and the backdrop richly woven with the jazz era during the roaring twenties, the depressing 30s, the World War days in the 40s all the way till the stormy days of Katrina.

The young (old?) Benjamin is a winning creation, a mesmerising byproduct of Gollum and Forrest Gump. But once Benjamin morphs into Pitt in all his Greek God glory, you feel the movie’s “curious” charm begin to dissipate. Soon we’re left with something that resembles an all too conventional romantic drama, The Bridges of Madison County with a steadily diminishing echo of fantasia.


Along the way you bump into people who make a dent on your life.

There is also an interesting take on Button’s decades-long romance with a ballerina (a stunning performance from Cate Blanchett), which proves that the lifetime of true love, like comedy, is all about timing.


It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you.


Another aspect of The Curious Case that started troubling me a bit while watching the movie was its striking similarity to Forrest Gump. After perusing IMDB, I was hardly surprised. We could just blame the scriptwriter, who tried to reproduce his magic from Forrest Gump. But then, as any magician will tell you, you cannot get away with a performance when you have no new trick up your sleeve.

Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it.

Benjamin’s condition does not seem inspire him all that much, to have given him any unique insights. But then the script seems to force Benjamin to make Forrestesque observations which are then made to sound like profound truths. Some pearls of wisdom such as “Live the life you’re meant to live”, “Love while you can” and “Nothing lasts for ever” will only take your mind back to Tom Hank’s adorable portrayal in his 1994 Oscar winning role.

Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss

Where this movie disappoints is at the climax. While we sit through his old age anticipating exciting times as he gets younger during the Beatles mania, the movie flatters to deceive. What ought to have been an orgasm after a nearly three-hour foreplay, turns out to be a premature ejaculation.

I think, right there and then, she realized none of us is perfect forever.


But then, when I did watch the movie at a multiplex, without horn-rimmed glasses of a movie critic, I found it entertaining. In fact, I’d go to the extent of saying that it is easily one of the best movies made in recent times. If you can forget the fact that it is directed by David Fincher of the Fight Club fame, and the screenplay was indeed written by Eric Roth of the Forrest Gump fame, you will surely like the movie, and may even get yourself to love it. The movie was certainly not as forced and futile as this review is, but then, beware of the staccato.

You must watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button if you are the kind who likes to live today like there is no tomorrow. And watch it most certainly if you, like this reviewer, dread the thought of your birthday, because it’s a reminder that you’re getting older.