Critical Mass!

Here's a piece I'd written last year, but it's still contemporary in subject since little has changed since I wrote this piece. Guess I've been penny wise and few hundred pounds foolish. Here goes:

One of the most intriguing questions that has troubled mankind since creation has finally taken a turn in my life. How does one bear the weight of expectations; from parents, friends, spouse, boss, the significant other(or in the absence of one, your own!) etc?

Much inspired by one smart alec’s comment which goes like “to fight an ideology, have one of your own”, the realization finally dawned upon me. So dear netizens, the only way to fight the weight of expectations is by mustering some yourself.

With this new found self-belief I started out in right earnest by devouring big mac’s by the dozen. This seemed ok till the inhabitants of my wardrobe refused to cooperate. Humph! The circumstances demanded some tact on my part. After all draping a body that had assumed the shape of an overgrown ectoplasm would be stretching it too far(my poor levis that is). To say I am in good shape would only expose my wicked sense of humour. In fact Euclid himself would have a tough time “figuring” me out at my present disposition.

So now, a new problem? I need to shed some weight to fit in! It’s the time to “weigh” my options. I should probably try restricting my food intake, was a popular suggestion. But given my “never say diet” attitude, the chances of that happening are, honestly speaking, slim! Besides it would force me to eat, if nothing else, my own words, aptly employed at the start of this entry. Maybe I should try some “weapons of mass destruction” ie gym equipment. This would entail a disciplined visit to a gym for at least a couple of months! Doesn’t seem worth the weight...err…wait! I could definitely use some advice. Any suggestions?