Sunday, April 28, 2013

IPL's Shitty Moments of Success

Good Evening, Hyderabad! Are you ready for a Standard Fireworks Sivakasi cracker of a game awaiting you at the Paradise Biryani International Stadium?

At the toss, captain Sanga called Pantene Silky & Shiny heads and it was the Pepsi Right Choice, Baby! He has elected to have a Puma Cricket Gear bat.

At this point of time, all three T.I.M.E Classes 100% Results are possible.

It's important for Royal Challenge Bottle Openers to give the Lodha's home team a Cadburys Shubh Aarambh start to the innings.

All the viewers are Sonata Watching the game thanks to the kind Sahara Group support from our
 Kisna Diamond sponsor Pepsi, our Malabar Gold sponsor Vodafone, and our Yes Bank group of local businesses who agreed to our terms of sponsorship with an affirmative.

A Lays Magic Masala crisp shot to the covers takes the home team to score of 45 for BSE All Profit No Loss. 

The Ghajini Replay clearly tells us the batsman's time at the crease is 7 UP.

The batting seems to be running out of Appy Fizz., and they'll need some Servo Premium fuel to go the Xtra Mile.

After the fall of four Star Plus Kamzor Kadi Kaun wickets, the lower middle order is left to lay a Hathi Cement foundation for final over Channel V Big Hits.

There is no margin for Microsoft Windows error and the bowlers have to maintain their Natraj Geometry Box line and length.

Taking quick singles is the the Link Locks key to T20 success.

When you take wickets regularly, half your XBOX Halo battle is won.

That's Pulla Reddy Sweetly timed, but it finds the Godrej Safe hands of the man at Ohri's Nautanki Gully.

The American Express Travelers Check bounce seems to have added some Priya Pickle spice to this game.

Lets not take away anything from the bowling side who have put in an Dr Batra's clinical performance and exploited the opposition's Apollo Hospitals injury problems.

The Spice Jet visitors are preparing for what could be a Royal Stag high-spirited chase.

The ball was Mahindra Logan extra-wide, and it was deposited for a Yes Bank Maximum.

The bowler now Fedex delivers a slower ball, which the batsman Gillette Mach 3 edges to the Victoria's Secret first slip.

The game is going down the Havell's wire. Both teams deserve to Play Lotto win.

The Asics long hop was dispatched with the Venky's meat of the bat for a certain boundary. What a Nerolac finish!

At the end of the day, EA Sports Cricket 13 was the winner. This was indeed a great advertisement for the game.


Monday, April 15, 2013

You Say Best When You ... Got The Look.

What's the dirtiest look that you have got from people?

Is it the "What have I done to deserve this?" look you get from your mother when you show her your FB status message in response to "how was your day"?

Is it the "Will you please retire that stupid line aready?" look you get from your friends who may have heard you  crack your favourite "Good from far, but far from good" joke the 487th time since college?

Or is it the "How do you always manage to piss off a woman and not get hit on your forehead with both her stilettos?" look that you get from a woman who has just met you, and courteously laughs when you ask her something cliched like, " Are you a celebrity? Because everyone seems to be turning around to have a good look at you?" 

Now just imagine if these looks could become a full blown conversation between the other members of a group who have been subjected to something very inappropriate. Lets just say you are a single man in a group that has husband 1 and wife 1, husband 2 and wife 2, BF 1 and GF 1 and finally BF 2 and GF 2. And in this august company, you choose to unleash your joke # 30 which goes, "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I sure love to make a bed rock." Here's what is likely to follow in a fraction of a second:

Husband 1 to Husband 2: *Ha! Ha! Ha! Quickly check out how the women react* look

Wife 1 to Wife 2: *I dread to think of the foolish woman who'll marry him* look

GF 1 to GF 2: *No wonder he's still single* look

BF 1 to BF 2: *No wonder he's still to get laid* look

Wife 1 to Husband 1: *This is the last time we invite him home* look

Husband  2 to Wife 2: *Hey! I just met him recently, okay!*look

GF 1 to BF 1: *Please tell me this is not how you behave when I'm not around* look

BF 2 to GF 2: *Chill! He's probably had a drink too many* look

Wife 2 to Wife 1 : *Thank god nobody laughed* look

GF 2 to GF 1: *  Lets pretend not to have heard it and change the subject *

Husband 1, Husband 2, BF 1, BF 2 to each other: * Should we laugh now before it gets worse?* look

You to yourself: *shucks, nobody heard me. Let me just tweet this one* look