The Death of Common Sense

This obituary was printed in the London Times recently.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, let us pray that his legacy survives, even if only by a handful. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Fast Forward: Forward March!

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded
mails to me over the years

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for
removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with
AIDS.

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause
cancer.

I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes. I
even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a
stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda ,
Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick
from the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is,
for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys
and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that
was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been
7 since 1993...)

My free Nokia phone,Ipod,Laptop never arrived and neither did the free
passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

After many trial offers, I've also realised "size" does not matter anymore.

I've also signed 317 petitions after the last terror attack in Tuvalu.

Thanks to your mails, my mail Id is listed in the mailboxes of several celebrities like Rakhi Sawant, Michael Jackson, Osama Bin Laden, Narendra Modi, and of course George Bush.

Still open to help someone from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to
transfer his uncle's property of some hundred millions $.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh
Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..

Now that most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else), I'm left wondering what my last wish could be! Oh wait!! If you do not send this e-mail to at least 913760 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will shit on your head tomorrow at 6:15 p.m.

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me
"Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete my E-Mail
account!