Yes, ladies & gentlemen. It's been four years since I first introduced myself to bloggers at Livejournal, which was incidentally my first attempt at blogging. But 4 blogs and 218 posts later, little seems to have changed. The number of comments over the years has at best experienced a very modest, toned-down version of the 'Hindu Rate of Growth'. Maybe it's a good time for a review.
Initially, I was very kicked about maintaining a blog. I would look forward to writing a new post. I'd collect all my thoughts, revise all my puns, note down all pop-art or newsworthy references, all this while the BSNL dial-up struggled for ignition. After the blog was updated, there would be a joblist to be completed, which would encompass a 360-degree marketing activity. Casually mention the blog. Check. Rave about your latest post. Check. Refer to the 'one' funny comment on your blog. Check. Upload link on your Gtalk status. Check. Post link on an Orkut community. Check. Send link as a forward to dad. Check. This process went on for six months. Then on one fateful day, I stopped caring about my blog. And then I've always looked back ever since.
Now when I think about it, I realise why this blog has never been so comment-friendly. A guy who is in denial about his age, who is completely incapable of political opinion, who's not graduated from the musical collection of his college days, who's read Harry Potter a decade after it was a rage, who still laughs at his occasional pun, and whose Facebook Status draws more comments than his blog obviously doesn't have enough going on in his life to talk about. That pretty much puts this case to rest.
Now for the way forward. May be an insight or two from the 'Target Group' will give me an idea - a cliched line from the advertising industry that refuses to go out of vogue. From my recollection, blogs that boast of millions of comments belong to:
C) Both of the above (Damn, this reminds me of my engineering entrance exam. When in doubt, mark C)
Now things are starting to get clearer. 17 days of determined contemplation, and my path becomes crystal-clear to me. I should assume a feminine non de plume. And stay anonymous. That's it. That way, I could be mistaken for any one of the above categories. I can safely write about some seriously earth-shattering topics like what I had for breakfast, what I had for a drink and where, and how I hate toddlers in aeroplanes, and how I hate cats and dogs, and how I hate nosey male bloggers who have absolutely nothing to offer to this world but for their comments on my blog. Oh boy, I cannot wait to read the comments that will flow from then on. Score!