Thursday, October 11, 2012

Mad Man's History Lessons: Timeline 2

We'll begin the second post on historical timelines with 1 BC, when our ancestors solved the 6000 year old mystery of what BC really stood for. To understand life before this monumental year in history, read my earlier post.
126 AD - Emperor Hardian builds the Pantheon for all the Roman Gods, who are actually Greek Gods with Italian passports that were not issued in Sicily

301 AD - Magnetic compass invented in China. Cheaper Magnetic compass made in Taiwan. Men still go wrong with directions.

364 AD - The Japanese begin to spread their influence on Korea. The exercise continues till very recently, when LG pipped Sony to become the world's best selling LED TV.

433 AD - A year after St Patrick arrives in Ireland, the first Irish drinking song is written. The famous lyrics "aye di aye di aye di aye di aye di aye" was a contribution of one suitably drunk Di O'Bolic, who was busy introducing himself to everyone at the bar.

458 AD - The use of Zero is documented for the first time in an Indian Mathematical Treatise. The rest of the world responds with a terse "Thanks for Nothing!"

6th Century AD, King Arthur is born sometime in this century. Nobody however, remember his birthday ( or even birth year). He was perhaps the first man in history to have his cake and eat it too.

681 AD - Bulgars arrive in the Balkans. In the absence of any kind of security systems, like the Bulgar Alarms, the visitors set up an empire.

732 AD - Annual travelers around Europe are in a dilemma as to which is a better holiday spot - South France or Andalusia, Spain. This leads to a battle among the promoting countries, that's famously referred to as the Battle of the Tours. 

756 AD - The Mayans declare year 2012 as the end of the world. The entire civilization gets consumed by a Drink-until-you-die promotion launched by enterprising bar owners.

807 AD - The Beowulf turns 100. It was still considered too early to be celebrating with a Google Doodle.

917 AD - The Last of the Three Lions escape from England. They try and negotiate a payment deal with the circus owners at Madrid, Milan or even Munich during the January transfer season.

982 AD -  Leif Ericsson discovers America, but he couldn't find it on the map. Decides to go back home to Norway, and give his shrink a visit.

 We'll begin the next post with another monumental year, 1000 AD - when people were poor with dates, and History still had very few takers.



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