Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Lighter Side Of Smoking

If there's one thing that being a copywriter has taught me, it's this - "Can we see some more options?" I cant possibly imagine how many people have suffered multiple cerebral hemorrhages just thinking up more options for lines as simple as - "Mutual Fund Investments are subject to market risks. Please read the offer letter carefully before investing". I'm sure that was the fate of the guy who first coined the famous Statutory Warning  on cigarette packets. I'm sure coming up with multiple options for the same message proved to be more injurious to his health than the damn cigarettes anyway. Ever wondered what those rejected messages were like? Here goes:

Statutory Warning: Lighting a cigarette on the gas stove can be risky. Please consult experts before attempting such a task

Statuatory Warning: Smoking is injurious to your reputation. Please carry strong mints at all times.

Statuatory Warning: Smoking a cigarette is really cheap. Please tender exact change.

Statuatory Warning: Smoking a cigarette is the best way to blow your money. Please don't bother reading fine print before you invest.

Statuatory Warning: Life sucks anyway. Here's something for you to suck on.

Statuatory Warning: Smoking is legal. Just saying. 

Statuatory Warning: We are not allowed to advertise unless we say this. Just wanted to let you know.

Statuatory Warning: The proceeds from this sale will be utilized for Cancer research

Statutory Warning: Smoking during pregnancy will result in your child turning out to be the next Rahul Gandhi

Statutory Warning: Longer Cigarrettes. Because overcompensation is the only solution.

Statutory Warning: Best recommended for those times when you'll see no other action.

Statutory Warning: Ever wondered what Statutory meant? Brought to you by

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