Waking Strife

10 PM, Monday

Today is the time for self-change. I’ll hit the sack right away. Set the alarm for 5 AM. Tomorrow is another day. And here comes another man, me. No more late nights. No more 15 minute deadlines for shower, shave and catching the 8:15 train. No more missing the 8:15 train. Tuesday morning, a new chapter in my autobiography, will be titled “The Awakening”. Ha!

10:15 PM, Monday
Humm, it’s just a matter of time before I fall asleep. Ok, so what do I title my autobiography? Humm… “Deja Boo: Have you had this nightmare before?” Tch tch! Think positive! Ok… “ When I sleep 8 hours on the trot, there is usually a great awakening”? Why am I still thinking of sleep? Hai Hai! Humm…what if I write a book without a name? I wonder if that’s been done before. I write the autobiography about a loser! Since everybody feels like a loser at some point of time in their lives, they’ll surely relate to it. < A triumphant smile> ahh… and the title is left to the reader’s imagination. Why limit the subject with a title, I say! Yea Baby! It’s a smash hit. An absolute bestseller! Ha! I can sleep for the rest of my life with the money I make from it!

10:45 PM, Monday
Ho humm! It’s been 45 minutes already. I know what’ll put me to sleep. My dream job! Let’s direct the last of the Harry potter series. Let us change the cast a bit! How about giving Salman Khan a role? As one of the wizards? Yea I know what’ll work. The only magic spell he’ll pull off successfully on screen is a vanishing act! Ha! Let’s add Katrina too. Oh yea! She’ll make a “ghost” appearance! Ha! Wow! This is turning out to be quite a blockbuster! What about Bachchan senior ? He can do any role in his sleep…oh ! sleep…yawn…

11:58 PM, Monday
Yawn! I’m still awake…so much for awakening! I wonder who said “ If you have a dream to realize, stop sleeping” What a moron! I’d really want to ask him something. These days, even in my dreams, I’m trying to fall asleep. So now how do I realize this dream of mine?? Huh?? What?? No reply? Sleeping or what? Yawn!

12:43 AM, Tuesday
Oh god! There’s no way I’ll wake up at 5 in the morning. I’ll set an alarm for 7. That’ll still give me an hour. Ok let me go thro my To-do list tomorrow. Joggers Park! Forget it! Shave, That’ll take 5 mins. Shower, 5mins. Ok, let’s go have a Shower now…Capital idea my hearty! Har har!

1:03 AM, Tuesday
Yawn! Humm, I love the feeling of a fresh towel! Talc after a shower! A fresh set of pyjamas! New Bed sheets and pillow covers! Perfect! Bliss! Yawn!

2:09 AM, Tuesday
Yawn! Now what do I do? Lets go thro my to-do list again…A copy for Valley View Health Resorts! Humm… ok 30 miles from the city…ok…I could do with a weekend there! Humm…30 miles to go before I sleep! AH! THAT’S IT! Even Robert Frost would’ve taken a break from poetry at Valley View! Wonderful! We all need a vacation don’t we? Brilliant! Now let’s think of a visual…something really enticing! Humm… yawn! Something very striking!...humm… yawn….hummm something…hummm…on the lines of…hummmmm…ok, let me ..yawn..sleep over this one…

2:42 AM, Tuesday
< heaves a sigh> ok now lets try Sweet Dreams…humm…Ok, I’ll ask Ekta out tomorrow…for coffee! Yea, that should be good! < thrilled> I’m finally gonna pop the question! < blushes> …no wait, she’s been having a fight with the < gestures the air quotes > loowe of her life < < closing air quotes >…How did I forget him…!#@!$$%# … Are there any single women left?? Man, I’m in the wrong country! Yea, for centuries, we’ve killed infants till a boy pops out…criminals…illiterate hooligans…ppl who practice foeticide should be castrated…but what’s the connection…man! Why I ruin my sleep over these ills of society…lets dream of Ekta…hummm…man! Even in my dreams I’m being a nice guy…humm….even in my dreams I’m an intellectual whore…humm…an coolie who offers to carry her emotional baggage…humm….when all at once that moron turns up and shatters my miserable dreams…hummmm….Even in my dreams….hummm…I don’t get to sleep with her….yawn…. ok let me count the number of times this has happened…this’ll put me to sleep….yawn!...

3:36 AM, Tuesday
Yawn!...what’s up dude!! Cant you @!$#$#$ sleep…hummm…need a “crash” course huh? …yawn…ok lets watch a movie… How about “Insomnia”? … What if I fall asleep while watching the movie…hummm…what an irony… … Ok if I ever go on to direct the longest movie ever, probably with a duration of 6 hours or so , I’ll call it “A Cure For Insomnia”…hummmm…..

4:29 AM, Tuesday
Yawn!... I’ll do this…I’ll type all these thoughts of mine and upload it on my blog…hummm…probably reading it will help me fall asleep tomorrow night…err…I mean tonight…whatever…yawn….Even if it doesn’t help me…it’ll help the few people to muster up enough courage to read it…yawn…good karma you know!...yawn….

7: 02 AM, Tuesday
(Alarm rings)…(opens one eye)…(eyes shut again)…(snooze alarm rings)…(turns it off)…(Snooze alarm rings)…(Changes settings)…(sets up new alarm)…

7:51 AM, Tuesday
(Snooze alarm rings)…(Jumps out of bed, alarmed!)…GODDAMMIT! ONLY 20 MINUTES MORE!