Hallo Frands! Myself da Punjabi.

Hair is something they never taught you in Iskool.


A is for Aiscreame

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your butt. It is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. 'Defence Cloney'.

D is for Dally, the Capital Yaar!

E is for Expanditure, the spending of money.

F is for Frands, who hang out at da Gudgaon.

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame. And it is also his license to get da kuddi.

H is for 'Haal', and if you ask Aamir 'Ki haal?', he says 'All iz Well'.

I is for Intjaar, and to know more about it see P.

J is for Jiyoo, Long live da Punjabi. And 'Jugaad', something da punjabi cannot live without.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc, the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses
(e.g.'Keeping up with the Khuranas ji')

L is for Loin, the king of the jungle

M is for 'Mrooti', the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N is for 'No Problem Ji.' Because you can always go back to H, ji.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy...).

P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far(100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he'll reach you in punj mint (5 minutes...).

Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslatable into Punjabi - does not exist in the culture.

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one (risk), even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Simmi and Summi, and all the soni kuddi, to impress whom men buy half the cars in Delhi.

T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori Chickun.

U is for when you lose your sax appeal and become 'Uncul-ji'

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is for Waat, as in 'Waat Nansense?'

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in Punjabi conversations.

Y is for 'You nonsanse', when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.

Z is for Zindgi which every Punjabi knows how to live to the fullest.