Sunday, September 16, 2012

A Mad Man's History Lesson - Evolution

Scientists today have proved that if you take a can of worms, open them up, place them on a tray, and then subject them to millions of years comprising among other things, bad weather, bad-ass predators, badder-ass bosses and then a few hundred years of  timeless Test cricket, they'll turn into a fusion of Slobodan Milosevik, with Robert Mugabe's hairstyle and Kim Jong II 's dressing style.Of course, like every scientific theory, this finding is not without its flaws. None of these people were ever actually subjected to the torture of watching Test matches between India and Sri Lanka, so this theory hasn't been tested in not so ideal conditions, as yet.

Well, this didn't get the scientists to say "Hell Yea! Done with the theory. Now results can take care of themselves. Lets go get plastered! One who fails to collapse, foots the bill and takes the rest home. Woo Hoo!" As a matter of fact, with some cool smartphone apps called "Carbon Dating", which has nothing to do with social life for single nerds on Saturday nights, they figured that the funny piece of hard rock that they discovered at a second hand furniture store, which was once a part of Kim Jong II's attire, was actually as old as the Big Bang itself, give or take 29,781 years.

But then, it seems very difficult to please everyone. No matter how plausible this theory seems, there are always people who question it further more. And when they don't get answers, "We have better things to do", they say and sign in to Facebook.

So history proves that the subject of evolution has evolved much faster than man himself. In a matter of 400 years, man's belief of creation has changed from Eve being lured by a snake to monkeys learning how to walk to some fishes learning how to swim to the can of worms mentioned at the start of this piece. Clearly, this chapter is subject to change every few years. So we'll discuss this again in 2026 and then compare notes. Until then, do the evolution, baby!

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