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Sunday, April 27, 2008

American Beauty



I was discussing movies with Swati today when she asks me " what do you really like about this movie ? " while we were discussing American Beauty. Humm!! I'd never given it so much of thought.

The movie begins with Kevin Spacey introducing himself in the narrative. " My name is Lester Burnham...in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already." Now that simply "kills" the prospect of having an interesting climax, does it not?

Next, we know that Lester's life is beset by sexual frustrations and he decides to take matters in his own hands, in the only way he likes - literally. His sarcasm only goes to highlight his depression when he says "this will be the high point of my day. It's all downhill from here." Can it really catch your interest?

"My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge", says Lester, who in his own words, has, for 14 years, been a whore for the advertising industry. In the first 10 minutes of the movie, one cannot overlook the dialogues which are humourous and brutally honest. But you're left wondering where does all this lead to?

" It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself." The debutant director Sam Mendes definitely believes in this adage and also in his characters and the script. Add to that the memorable sound track and cinematography that's from the top drawer. The ingredients seemed well set for a perfect recipe, but the seasoning which the audiences savoured long after the movies release in 1999 was provided by Kevin Spacey. In his oscar winning performance, Spacey gets us to love the loser. He suddenly emerges from the stereotypes and turns them upside down.

" Today is the first day of the rest of your life ". He revels in the decay and disharmony of his miserable life as he finds inspiration in the form of a mini-skirted Angela Hayes, his daughter's cheerleader friend. His lust for the teenager brings back all the exuberance of his adolescent years as Lester takes to weed, the gym and a job at a burger joint. With some unforgettable tracks from Bob Dylan and The Who in the background, Lester seems to catch up on all the joys lost during his apparently comatose years.

This however is not lost on his family. " I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts every time I bring a girlfriend home from school." says Jane, who's yet to experience and appreciate paternal affection. And now you suddenly witness the dark humour of Lesters life, with greater emphasis on the dark side. The movie reaches the climax, encompassing whiplash changes of mood, orchestrated with exquisite control and fluid grace. Lesters life, unlike what the movies posters and his fantasies had us believe, is no bed of roses. And with the movie, his life comes to an end.

But it is not without its share of irony, neatly wrapped under layers of poignancy. There is a scene where Ricky, Jane's wierdo of a boyfriend is transfixed by an image of a plastic bag caught on video, whipped around by the wind in an empty parking lot.
" It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air. This bag was, like, dancing with me. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things." That probably sums up what Sam Mendes wanted audiences to see through the eyes of all his neatly sketched characters in American Beauty.

I'm still to get over Lester's posthumous soliloquy,

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars. And yellow leaves, from the maple trees that lined our street. Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janie... and Janie. And... Carolyn. I guess I could be really pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."

I certainly have no idea of what it is to experience the last second of my life. I 'm left wondering what images will flash in front of my eyes in the last 100 metres of my free-fall. As it stands, I'm sure I've certainly not lived a great life, not great enough to die for. But a movie like American Beauty does open my eyes. It inspires me to savour every moment of my life and render it worthy of a pleasant viewing as it flashes in front of my eyes, someday.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Battle of the Sexes

It is very unlike me to write on subjects that may hover on controversy. My diplomatic skills get the better of me and I smile incommunicado. However, I was requested to work on a debate last evening.In the opinion of the house, "women are stronger than men". I was requested to write on behalf of my mother, who favoured the motion. It'd had been 3-4 years since I'd scripted a debate for a friend, so I had my reservations on writing one. It's really not my cup of tea. But then as a male, speaking in favour of this subject on behalf of a woman would challenge my being, and also my imagination. So the mama's boy obliged. Here's what emerged an hour later:

" Have you had a peek at the latest issue of Maxim? You discover that Men's magazines are filled with pictures of pretty women. A women's magazine like Cosmopolitan also feature pictures of pretty ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, which is best appreciated by men with Beer-bellies. That only goes to show the extent of influence that women have on men.

While it is a known fact that men are indeed physically stronger, a woman’s Intelligence Quotient(IQ) and her Emotional Quotient(EQ) can never be understated. How “intelligently” do we subjugate even the most muscular of men with our “emotions” and bring them down to their knees. A man initially encounters this situation, literally at the time of courtship, when he woos a lady for marriage. More often than not it’s masterminded by a woman, and after that a man is inducted into a vicious cycle of marriage. It is observed that a woman’s tears can sometimes make a man cry for mercy!

Men usually have little idea about enhancing their own looks. They are mostly incapable of looking their best without women. Jewellery for example is tastefully employed by women to look beautiful. Men can also capable of trying to experiment with Jewellery, but more often than not they'd end up looking like Bappi Lahiri.

There is little doubt about the fact that women are emotionally stronger. We definitely drain out a lot of our emotional repository in admitting we are wrong. However, even the most powerful man on earth, Mr. George Bush fails in this department.

Women are very good at attaching and detaching themselves emotionally and are not hung-up on any object of desire. Little girls are very fond of playing with their barbies, but get over it in their teens in order to pursue their career and everything else that follows like marriage, family, children, children’s marriage, retirement plans, medical bills etc. Boys seem to be better with their objects of desire. They enjoy a smooth transition from GI Joes in their teens to Bikes in their tweens, to iPods in their 20s to Playstations in their 30s to Blackberrys in their 40s and Titanium Credit Cards in their 50s. And if they are lucky, a woman or two, interspersed over the years.

Well, I haven’t even spoken of relationships. We women seek immense strength from our relationships. And emerge even stronger when we are out of one. All hell breaks loose initially but two months later, we’d be more than glad to moderate a “Battle of the Ex-es”. But how do the menfolk handle the same? While being in a relationship, their significant other assumes as much importance as Gym every evening, the Friday night binge with the boys, Saturday night game on TV, the laundry on Sunday afternoon, the Sunday night game on TV, the Monday morning presentation and the works. They also seem to be highly articulate in discussing their relationship over a few drinks with their buddies, “Oh! You know Deepa and I have a thing going, right?”. However, they seem to have a tougher time letting it go. Typically, three months after a break-up, he’d call and say, “ Oh! I’m so miserable without you in my life anymore. Can’t we give it another chance?”

Men always fancy being in the throes of power be it in their jobs or politics or even in a Rotary club. But for all the power they wield, they do have a “weakness” that can either bring out the best in them or lead them to their doom- women. History has enough of evidence to support the same, be it Helen of Troy in Greece or the women in Mahabharata or Ramayana closer home.

The problem here is more of perspective or may be the lack of it. History has taught us the primordially, man has been the hunter while a woman, the home-maker. For the roles to change, it’s more of a personal choice and history or evolution need not necessarily be credited or blamed. When the house fails to view the big picture, the members will gladly chew their “coffee bite” on subjects like “Woman is stronger than man”. Tch tch! The arguement continues...

Yours truly,
Mrs. D. Bates
"

Monday, April 21, 2008

Animal Instincts



Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Animal Instincts


Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Animal Instincts



Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Animal Instincts



Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

What do you think of me?

Well, I could never elicit a response to the above question. So I thought I'd shift my imagination to the top gear and try and figure out how people spoke of me in college. I'll try and list them down in a chronological order. Do keep the caveat in mind that any resemblance to real-life incidents is purely intensional.

1. Girl 1: Hey! Here is a side-splitting intro. This chap is from my class. I'd never noticed him till today, after one whole semester. And he says, "Hi! I'm Sudhir Pai, Roll no.271" and smiles gleefully. Ha ha ha!

2. Guy 1: This dude's wierd man, his favourite pastime seems to lying on his bed and gazing at the ceiling in contemplation. That's till he forces himself to fall asleep.

3. Guy 2: Just check out this guy who walks with a limp. Hyuk hyuk! I can see his legs cry for mercy when tries playing basketball.

4. Guy 3: The intensity which which he stares at something below the bench in class gives you the impression he's still coming to terms with his manhood. But then out comes Ayn Rands "Fountainhead" at the end of the period.

5. Girl 2: "I never worry. I wouldn't want to exhaust my emotional reserves on something so trivial" he says. Psycho!

6. Guy 1: Dont even bother asking him if he's joining us for dinner. He's busy, daydreaming

7. Junior Boy 1: Why didn't you tell them you know Sudhir Pai. They wouldn't have ragged you. He's the secretary of the Society of Personality Development

Junior Boy 2: Society of Personality Development? Is he a gym instructor?

8. Guy 2: Can he stoop any lower? He's now directing a play with the first years. And he wouldn't even have the numbers of the first year chicks, which is besides the point. And he expects to compete with people of his age with a bunch of first-year kids.

9. Guy 4: ha ha ha! this chap says he's from the Literary and Debating club, which is neither Literary nor has any debating.

10. Junior Boy 1: Pai's team has won three quizzes on the trot. we'll beat them the next time, I think I have a measure of him.

11. Girl 3: There he is with that woman discussing books again. Doesn't she find him intimidating? He's the kind who probably thinks the rest of us are dumb!

12. Guy 5: Oh Boy! He's an associate editor? really?? Of all the exceptionally brilliant guys from our batch, they found him as the most suitable candidate?

13. Girl 4: Oh the guy does an Sania Mirza imitation in Mock Press today. when asked about the balls bouncing he says " For the bounce, it's not the surface that matters. It's all about how you stroke the balls" ha ha! naughty boy! And the others couldn't match up to his wit and spontaneity. So we simply declared him non-competitive. He he! That'll give the others some chance!

14. Guy 6: Pai says he wants to get into advertising. Ha ha! He sure has some imagination!

15. Girl 3: The guy does a bhangra for an ozzy osbourne track and Jives for a hindi movie track. Crazy!

16. Guy 3: The guy runs a Comic strip online. I see where he gets his inspiration from. His Life!! har har! what a cartoon!

17. Girl 4: Now Pai runs a blog where declares the world is full of pseudo- intellectuals like him. And he even knows all his readers personally. Some 10 vela people just like him. Hey Bhagwan!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Animal Instincts



Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Animal Instincts



Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Animal Instincts



Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Do you understand me?

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Animal Instincts



Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Olive Ridley Turtle lovers left Shell-Shocked!


Dear Readers,

I've just written to Ratan Tata requesting him to reconsider his plans of building a port in Dhamra, Orissa, dangerously close to one of the world's largest sea turtle nesting grounds for the Olive Ridley Sea Turtle. I think its a good idea for Mr. Tata to relocate the planned port rather than endanger the turtles.

By living up to the Tatas' environmental legacy, Ratan won't just save the highly-endangered Olive Ridley Turtles, he will also end up making Tata a better company.

The only problem is that I can't bring about that change alone. I need help from lots of people, especially you.

Please do what I've done. Write directly to Ratan by clicking here

Please Act immediately, otherwise we'll be left bidding the endangered Olive Ridley Turtle Tata!

Thanks a million,
Sudhir Pai

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Animal Instincts


Animal Instincts is a humorous take on slang. The animals featured in this comic strip indulge in all kinds of colloquial word-play that they themselves identify with. However, no animals were hurt during the creation of this comic strip. Take a trip to your wild side!

Baby's Day Out

Meet Needhi, my two year old niece and my favourite muse. Ain't she a buttercup?