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Monday, July 2, 2012

I Swear!

I've never been good with languages. Since childhood, I've struggled with many languages - English, Hindi, Sanskrit, Telugu, C++. Having managed to come this far with English, I somehow managed to conceal my linguistic limitations by simply resorting to  gibberish that was usually mistaken to be English. This was alright till I was asked to list down the languages I could converse in, while activating my Facebook account. For the lack of better options, I filled up - English(British), English(Profanity) and English(Chat lingo)

This was all fine till the other day, when Facebook labeled more than half the languages I know as non-existent. Clearly, I found it very limiting, thereafter. After all, how could I survive on English(British) alone? WTF??

So now I was forced to push the barriers of this fishing awesome language of the figging 21st century. Go multiply!

But then I started criking people with my excessive use of frog. I mean, how the fudge am I to express myself if I have to stop and think of a new congressional word every faking time? This is a pain in the assembly, man. How the dang will people take me seriously if a sounded like a bad son of a biscuit. How the duck am I to express dismay? "Oh, foghorn it!"??

How do I fanning complement anyone? "Baby, you look flammulatedly hot!" How would I diss..cuss and settle my differences with anyone? "Stop being an asafoetida, man!"

Vladivostok! This is just not fulcrum fair! Does anyone have any figuline idea as to how one goes about it?? I'm so firkin boom-boomed, man!


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