Sunday, July 22, 2012

Sun Signs Gone Wrong - Part 2

PS: After pissing off nearly half of his friends, family and 9 readers of this blog (which also includes aforementioned family and friends) with his first post on the subject, the author thinks it's only fair to write off...err about the rest who missed out on the attention. So here goes:

You'd love to believe you are artistic. The ones around you are likely to believe you are just eccentric. You simply love newer trends and you'll follow it till death ( the trend's death that is). And everything from blogging to metrosexuality to Manchester United to books on horny vampires probably owe their popularity to you. But one thing that makes you stand out completely is your affinity to fairness and justice. So you'll never pick on one person in a group. You'll simply insult the whole group and their grandmothers.

You are intense and your pursuit of power doesn't make you very popular. You were the last Kho Kho captain in your school, after which your fellow students gave up on the great game. Which made you the school's longest serving team captain.You are also very possessive of objects dear to you. Which is why you still cling on to your pet rat, along with the rat trap it was caught in. What you love best is listening to what people have to say about you. Which is why 68% Linda Goodman's readers are Scorpios.

You are clearly the most adventurous of the lot. You can carry off a T Shirt saying Jesus Shaves while attending the Sunday mass. And you have no inhibitions either. So not only do you consume all the shots at the bar blindfolded, you then choose to step into the dance floor on all fours. But then we have to admit, you are the life of the party. Who else would come pissed drunk and act perfectly drunk at the Sunday Brunch organised by the Alchoholics Anonymous.  

PS: The author just got knocked out by a passionate Boxer who claimed to be a Gemini, just like the author. The Boxer supposedly thought the amateurish writing lacked the punch! More to follow...

(PS: This will take a while. The author attempts to write this one while writhing in pain.)

Your conservative mindset makes you a hard worker and a safe player. You'd like to believe you are young at heart. Take away the euphemistic adjective and what you really are is stuck in a time warp. Your idea of bringing out your inner child is joining a bunch of kids and teaching them how to play Tic Tac Toe. To you, moving with times is installing a CD player in your 1984 model Premier Padmini. But then, you are definitely the most reliable of the 12 sun signs. We can always count on you to send us a forward from your Hotmail account every New Years. 

You are most inventive and progressive. That doesn't always make you an Einstien however. That's because you usually invent some theories, and forget about what you've cooked up the last time. You are more likely to feign an interest in Astronomy, because you are usually spaced out. You are a sucker for philosophy and a conversation with you ranges from how Professor Dumbledore was a Maoist wizard to how frogs understand more about evolution than any other species. And you intentionally fail lie detector tests out of the sheer curiosity.(Which by the way is another lie)

You have the most vivid of imagination, and as a result you dwell in a realm that's far away from reality. You are likely to remember a dress you pictured Sunny Leone in than your current address. You've travelled around the world collecting frequent-flyer points with your out-of-body experiences. And ever since you've read Narnia, you seem to forget the way out of your closet. By all appearances, you seem to be aloof. But what nobody understands is you are a popular figure among your friends, many of whom may be imaginary.


No comments: