Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Mad Man's History Lessons: Timeline 8

We often wonder what History is really meant to teach civilization. If there's one trend that we've noticed in every lesson of the timeline series, it's that 'nothing' is often the best thing to do and the cleverest thing to say when you're in doubt. It's a trend we may spot again in the first half of the 20th century:

1903: The Wright brothers invent the aeroplane. And 12 minutes later, the first plane crash.

1904: Trans-Siberian railway is completed. After completeing the 8-day train journey, passengers realise that Vladivostok is not a swear word.

1908: The Ford Motor Company invents the assembly line. In the most bizarre cases of coincidence, Boy Scouts Movement begins, to help pedestrians cross the road.

1911: Roald Amundsen reaches the South Pole. Somehow, he suspects he's reached North Pole.

1912: The Titanic sinks. The captain is heard saying, " All I wanted with this whiskey was some ice. This is definitely not what I asked for."

1916: Daylight saving time is employed by German forces in the Great War. The soldiers ended up spending more time waiting for action when they could have easily slept for another hour more.

1920: Drinking alcohol was banned in the United States. This was probably designed to stop Europeans from migrating to the west.

1922: James Joyce publishes Ulysses. Literature students all over the world realize they were better of taking sciences. 

1925: Hitler writes Mein Kamph in prison. The few literature students who endured James Joyce now give up literature to turn to Engineering.

1929: The Great Depression begins, when running an illegal racket becomes fashionable.

1933: Hitler watches his first Charlie Chaplin flick. He's a changed man after his next visit to the barber.

1938: Time Magazine calls Hitler the Time Man of the Year, perhaps for impersonating Charlie Chaplin; the April fool prank on Britain in making them believe that there would be no war, and for being the masterchef who created several Jewish cooking recipes.

The next chapter will be dedicated to all the idiocy that took place in the various theatres of the World War. Until then, have a blast.

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